


My Favourite Chick Flicks Got Nothing on You

by burnintoash (funnymorning)



Series: Chick Flicks Verse [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Ages fuzzed a little to suit the plot, Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, chick flicks are the cinematic treasures of our times, unbeta'ed - we die (from grammatical and spelling mistakes) like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-05 22:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13397298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnymorning/pseuds/burnintoash
Summary: Jihoon thought that stealing his step brother's boyfriend is going to be the biggest milestone and achievement in his all 18 years of existence, but somehow, along the way, he ends up learning to overcome his complexes and love his longsuffering best friend in what is totally not a chick-flick story.





	1. He's All That

"I have decided." Jihoon says, as firm as he can manage, and bangs his fisted hands on the table. A couple of loose paper full of scratched out math equations and Woojin's badly drawn dinosaurs fell onto the floor, but Woojin does not even look up from his phone.

 

"For dinner?" Woojin asks. "Cool. Give me a minute. I just need to pass this level before I can reach the save point."

 

"No, not for dinner." Jihoon replies. Right. Woojin asked him what he wants for dinner before Jihoon went to pee. That felt like a lifetime ago, because Jihoon has just made a life-altering decision in that ten minutes and that is a pretty big deal. "We'll either go for kimbap or chicken anyway. Flip a coin. I have decided that ... ya, it is very important to me. Listen."

 

Woojin sighs, but obediently puts down his phone. "What?"

 

"I am ..." Jihoon says, puffing out his chest. "... going to steal Kang Daniel."

 

Woojin blinks.

 

And then he blinks some more.

 

"I assume you don't mean kidnapping? Because that is way too out there even for us."

 

"Of course not!" Jihoon yaps. "I mean as a boyfriend. I am going to make Kang Daniel break up with Sungwoon and date me instead."

 

Woojin raises his eyebrows. "All questions of impossibilities aside, why?"

 

"Nothing is impossible." Jihoon hisses. "You know I've liked Daniel for years before Sungwoon snatched him right under my nose."

 

"Didn't Daniel ask Sungwoon out first?"

 

"That's because Sungwoon is a seductress." Jihoon says decisively. "Anyway, the point is this is my new year resolution. I am going to steal Kang Daniel back."

 

"That's weird because most people's new year resolution is to be a better person."

 

"Shut up," Jihoon kicks at the swivel chair Woojin is sitting on so it wheels back into the wall behind him. "Are you going to help me or not?"

 

"With what?" Woojin asks.

 

"I need you to _She's All That_ me." Jihoon says, gesturing at himself.

 

"You know I don't speak chick flick." Woojin snorts.

 

"You watched that one with me over the holidays, loser." Jihoon says. "I need you to make me hot, the kind of high schooler that a college student would want to date."

 

"Yeah, because that's not creepy at all." Woojin mutters under his breath.

 

"Look, I am going to college next year anyway, and he's only two years older than me. Please, dude, help me."

 

"Why me?" Woojin says and gets up from his chair. "Shouldn't you asking like Daehwi or someone? People who actually like doing that kind of life-guru thing."

 

"And suffer through eternal verbal and non verbal judgements?" Jihoon snorts. "C'mon. You got hot over last summer holidays. You are even dating a cheerleader. That's like _THE_ peak of high school life."

 

Woojin just shakes his head. "I got hot because I am a diamond covered in mud. You are an onion."

 

"Because I've got layers?"

 

"Yeah, and also because each layer is the same shit and the person peeling off your layers just ends up crying."

 

Jihoon kicks him in the butt just for that.

 

"Are you going to help me or not?" He asks, after he is satisfied that enough butt-kicking has been done.

 

"Are you going to buy today's dinner?" Woojin asks. "I am broke."

 

"When are you not broke?" Jihoon scoffs. "It's your fucking motorcyle, I told you."

 

"Don't talk about Katana like that." Woojin replies seriously. Nerd.

 

"Fine. I'll feed your bottomless pit. Satisfied?"

 

"Fine." Woojin retorts. "What do you need me to do?"

 

"Come shopping with me tomorrow."

 

"I'd rather die."

 

"Yahh..." Jihoon whines. "I'll let you pick my new clothes."

 

"Really?" Woojin crosses his arms and says with a raised eyebrow. "No _'Woojin, I absolutely need this one'_   over a mustard vomit sweater?"

 

"No." Jihoon replies sullenly. It was a good sweater, ok? Cheap and warm and eye-catching. But Jihoon has been informed that said mustard vomit sweater (along with 75% of his current wardrobe) is a crime against fashion and humanity by a reliable third party (a.k.a Daehwi). "I won't buy anything without a yes from you."

 

"That should be fun." Woojin smirks. Jihoon gives a not subtle look over at Woojin, who is just wearing a t-shirt (which is too plain in Jihoon's honest opinion) and jeans, both of which look unfairly good on him because like he said, Woojin suddenly got hot over summer. Maybe Woojin is right and it depends on the person. Jihoon can dress in the exact same way as Woojin does and looks about 20% as hot because he is just Jihoon. Not Sungwoon who had literally moved to Seoul for half a year before Daniel, the untouchable senior, asked him out, or Woojin who suddenly got turned into Danny Zuko, motorcyle and all, over one summer or even Daehwi, who wears even uglier shit than Jihoon but somehow makes them _work_.

 

"Maybe you are right." Jihoon mutters and picks up the paper fallen to the floor earlier. "What if I am just an onion? Woojin, what if I don't turn hot because I am not hot to begin with?"

 

"I'll make you the hottest onion in town," Woojin says, gripping at the back of his neck, and it shouldn't make Jihoon as assured as it does, but somehow, Jihoon feels relieved. After all, he is indeed prettier than Sungwoon. Maybe not Daehwi, but definitely Woojin on a good day. "Let's go. I am starving."

 

* * *

 

"Are you leaving, Woojin?" Sungwoon asks, still tucked into Daniel's side, when Jihoon and Woojin walks out of Jihoon's room. See, this. This is what Jihoon is talking about! That should have been Jihoon's head on those amazing biceps and that should have been Jihoon's hair that Kang Daniel's fingers are softly toying around with. Sungwoon wouldn't even have know Kang Daniel if it weren't for Jihoon.

 

"We are heading to dinner first." Woojin says, getting into his jacket.

 

"What are you having? Chicken?"

 

Jihoon gives a wordless nod and tries to find his shoes buried in the shoe closet.

 

"Hey." When he looks up, Sungwoon is suddenly next to him with his wallet in hand. "Do you mind buying us some wings back?"

 

"Didn't you guys just have dinner a while back?" Jihoon asks. He already knows the answer to that because he had seen the jjajangmyeon delivery uncle from his room window an hour back. Sungwoon didn't even order for them even though he knew Woojin is over to hang out like he does every day.

 

"Yeah, but Niel gets snacky." Sungwoon smiles and hands Jihoon an amount of cash that probably covers both the wings and their dinner, and even though Sungwoon is his romantic rival, Jihoon is not stupid enough to refuse money so he just takes it with an 'ok'.

 

"Are you two gonna be riding Woojin's bike?" Daniel asks from where he is still sprawled on the couch and Woojin gives a yes. "Jihoon, where is your helmet?"

 

"I forgot," Jihoon mutters and goes back inside to get his helmet. Things would be a lot easier if Daniel does not have to be so freaking nice and caring and makes Jihoon feels loved and important, which, yes, sounds like an ungrateful complaint but it just makes Jihoon wants more, more than what Daniel is willing to give him.

 

"Don't suck face in the living room." Jihoon says, annoyed, as he comes back out with his helmet only to see Sungwoon and Daniel laughing together with their foreheads pressed together like they are shooting for some sort of youth LGBT magazine cover. "My dad's coming home soon and he doesn't need to see that."

 

"Your dad has done more than sucking face with my mom in the living room." Sungwoon grins, and it takes everything in Jihoon to not smack him in the face with his helmet in hand.

 

"You are gross and I hate you." He says, every word punctuated with sincerity, and runs out of the house.

 

Woojin is leaning against Katana, wiping at the seats with a tissue because he is kind of anal when it comes to his bike. Woojin had spent all the money he has saved since he knew what pocket money is on that bike, and while Jihoon would normally mock him for it, Jihoon is the one who is going to dig into his savings tomorrow to go shopping and upgrade himself from a regular onion into a hot onion, so who is he to judge really?

 

"Is her highness ready for me to sit on her?" Jihoon taps Woojin on the shoulder, and asks.

 

Woojin turns around and gives him a glare before taking the helmet in Jihoon's hand to fit it over his head and buckle the strap. "You should be grateful I even let your dirty ass anywhere near my baby." Woojin says, slapping the visor down.

 

Jihoon tsks as the visor tugs and pushes at his glasses - Woojin knew it would; which is why he does it - and puts it back up before climbing behind Woojin. "Yet another statement from Park Woojin where we don't know if he's talking about his girlfriend or his bike."

 

Woojin snorts, but wordlessly starts the bike.

 

* * *

 

Jihoon's dad remarried a couple of months after Jihoon turned 17. It is fine, more than fine actually, with Jihoon really. He has met Ms. Ha a couple of times since his dad started seeing her a few years back, and she is just this little quiet lady who seems to love his dad a lot, and his dad deserves it, after a whole decade of bringing up Jihoon by his own, and not to toot his own horn or something, but Jihoon did turn out decent enough.

 

What is not fine with Jihoon though, is the extra baggage that comes with Ms. Ha. Of course, Jihoon knew that she also has a son, a couple years older than Jihoon but they never did get a chance to meet until their respective parent started talking marriage. And even then, Jihoon imagined Sungwoon would not actually live with them since he would be in college a couple of months after the wedding, and Jihoon didn't think Sungwoon would want to live in the house of his step-father.

 

But, unfortunately, Jihoon's dad kind of has a big heart - his downfall, really - and he asked Sungwoon to just stay at their place since it has a couple of extra rooms and it is not that far from SNU campus. So, Jihoon went from king of the house to co-king of the house, and he can tolerate that if it is not for the fact that Sungwoon is also some kind of a laboratory product of peak human perfection. Dad never really had any problem with Jihoon's mediocre grades until Sungwoon and his full-ride-to-SNU ass came into their house. Dad looks at Sungwoon with these ... proud eyes whenever he is cleaning the house or mowing the lawn (Jihoon does not even know how a lawn mower works). Jihoon's friends all fawn over him whenever they come by because Sungwoon tends to buy them food (and beer on occasion - part of which ended up in Jihoon's stomach so he can't really fault Sungwoon for that, he guesses), except for Woojin. But that is only because Woojin's brain is 45% dance, 45% Katana, and the rest of 10% is shared by school, his mobile games,  Jihoon and probably his girlfriend. His best friend does not really tend to focus on a lot of things in his life.

 

And all of that is fine - Jihoon's personal space being invaded and his probably unreasonable inferior complex over the prodigal son - Jihoon could have dealt with all of them on his own terms, if Daniel didn't ask Sungwoon out, on Jihoon's 18th birthday of all days - the day Jihoon was looking forward to with all of his heart because maybe Daniel would no longer see Jihoon as just a kid he tutored when Jihoon turned 18, and finally see him as someone who is mature enough. Good enough. But, no, of course, Daniel and Sungwoon started dating a day after Jihoon's very uneventful 18th birthday and Jihoon is turning 19 in a few months, but they are still there - gross and stupidly in love.

  
Well, not for long though. Because Jihoon is going to show Daniel what he is missing.

 

* * *

 

"Park Woojin," Jihoon calls again, kicking at Woojin's legs under the table, but Woojin ignores him and just opens his mouth.

 

Jihoon grumbles but shoves a piece of chicken into Woojin's mouth. "Will you stop with your goddamn games for two seconds?"

 

"Onemonote" Woojin mumbles with his mouth full and Jihoon just rolls his eyes, fully knowing that Woojin is useless when he is at this stage and there is nothing Jihoon can do short of pulling the fire alarm to make Woojin pay attention. Jihoon just ends up going to the counter and ordering the take away order for Sungwoon and Daniel.

 

Luckily enough, Woojin has his phone down on the table by the time Jihoon gets back with his take away box. Probably because Jihoon was not here and no longer feeding him like he is some kind of a helpless baby bird. 

 

"Look at these." Jihoon shows Woojin his pinterest account full of outfit ideas, an account newly opened while Woojin was busy fighting virtual enemies on his phone. 

 

"Those are very ... normal." Woojin comments. "They look nice, I guess?"

 

"They better be." Jihoon says and sips on his soda. "I scrolled through way too many 240p pictures to get an idea of what acceptable fashion is."

 

"They are not really you though." Woojin says and gives him back his phone. "You are more screaming colours and oversized jumpers. You sure you want to wear that kind of clothes?"

 

"What part of I-want-to-get-hot you don't understand?" Jihoon rolls his eyes. "I need Daniel to notice me looking good."

 

"You look good right now." Woojin shrugs.

 

"That's because you are blinded by your unconditional love for me."

 

Woojin rolls his eyes. 

 

"Isn't it a little weird that you have to do things you don't like for someone else to like you?" Woojin asks after a while. "I mean, what's the point of dating someone if they don't like you for who you are?"

 

Jihoon snorts. "That's a chick-flick talk from a guy who claims to loathe chick flicks. Dude, this is real world. The whole  _be yourself_ shit doesn't work here."

 

"Wow, so much pessimism."

 

"Realism." Jihoon retorts. "No offence but do you think Doyeon would even glance in your direction if you didn't turn up at the school one day with a motorcycle and a fucking leather jacket?"

 

"I like wearing leather jackets." Woojin says. "You don't. You started yelling it won't let you breathe the last time you tried one of mine on."

 

"I'll live." Jihoon says. "Are you done? I wanna go home and finish the Physics homework since I am gonna be busy revamping myself over the weekend."

 

"Nerd," Woojin mutters but gulps down his soda. "Let me go pee, then we'll go."

 

Jihoon just nods and waves him off, idly sipping at the mostly melted ice water in his soda cup. Woojin's phone pings a few times on the table and Jihoon picks it up to see a couple of messages from Doyeon.

 

**Doyeon: Can we talk?**

**Doyeon: Find me in school tmr**

Yikes, that is not a good sign. 

 

It is not like Jihoon is some kind of a relationship expert - he is pretty sure you'd have to be in at least one relationship to be one, but if there is anything romantic movies and Cosmopolitan have taught him, it is that 'can we talk' is never a good conversation opener. Maybe there is trouble in paradise, although Jihoon is not sure if it is even paradise to begin with.

 

See, Jihoon never really understands Woojin and Doyeon's relationship, not because they don't match or anything like that, it is just strange. Woojin is just ... Woojin, no matter how much puberty has been nice to him, he is still this noisy brash kid with the annoying laugh and awkward words. Jihoon thought they must have been in the upside down when Doyeon asked Woojin out a couple of months back - he's pretty sure Woojin thought so too. Doyeon has been the IT girl since, well, forever since high school started and who would have thought someone like Kim Doyeon will ask out the dude who once shaved his entire left eyebrow in a dare? But still, they went out - at least 50% of it was because Jihoon kept pushing Woojin; at least one of them should be experiencing the nice side of the high school life, and Jihoon hasn't heard any trouble, not until now.

 

"Everything ok with you and Doyeon?" Jihoon asks when Woojin comes back, wiping his wet hands on his jacket sleeves. Again, Jihoon just does not understand what Doyeon sees in him.

 

"Yeah, why?" Woojin answers casually and picks up their helmets. Jihoon rises and walks alongside.

 

"She is asking to talk, and that's not a good sign."

 

"Maybe she just wants to talk." Woojin shrugs.

 

"Dude, c'mon. Talk is never  _just talk_ when it comes to relationships. How are you not even a little bit worried?"

 

Come to think of it, Woojin has never seem particularly invested into his relationship. If anything, he probably has more emotional investment in his goddamn motorcycle. 

 

"I don't know, man." Woojin sighs as they head towards the parking lot where Katana is parked. "I've been kind of avoiding her lately, to be honest."

 

"Why? You don't like her any more?"

 

"I don't know," Woojin answers. "I keep feeling like this is not the kind of relationship I want. There's just no, I don't know how to say it."

 

"Spark?" Jihoon suggests. "Intensity?"

 

"Maybe." Woojin shrugs. 

 

"Well," Jihoon says consolingly. "Maybe she is not the one you know. She's just a Cha-Cha and not the Sandy to your Danny Zuko."

 

"Please stop talking in  _Grease._ " Woojin sighs. "And stop calling me Danny Zuko."

 

"You should be fucking bowing in gratitude that I'd ever compare you to one of the finest male specimens that has ever walked on earth."

 

"You are so annoying." Woojin says. And slaps down the visor of Jihoon's helmet again. Jihoon kicks one of Katana's wheels in revenge and that leads them to keep playing tug in the parking lot for a good while until a passing by lady looks at them with concerned eyes like whether they are actually fighting. 

 

"Tomorrow," Jihoon says as he climbs into the backseat of Katana once they both calmed down. "Right after school. Don't forget. That's gonna be the most important shopping trip of my life."

 

Woojin mumbles something, probably something insulting, but Jihoon lets it go. For now. 

 

It is time for him to stop being an ugly duckling and evolves into the beautiful goose prince that he truly is. 


	2. Pretty in Pink

"No." Woojin says, barely two seconds of consideration spared on the jacket Jihoon picked out.

 

"It is black!" Jihoon whines, waving at the jacket in his hand from side to side. 

 

"It also has pom-poms, Jihoon." Woojin says and grabs the small pom-poms hanging from the sleeve. "Fucking pom-poms."

 

"That's what makes it interesting." Jihoon pouts.

 

"I'd normally say go for it, but you made me sworn on Katana that I won't let you buy anything the old Jihoon might wear." Woojin says in an airy voice which probably is supposed to be imitating Jihoon's own voice. Dick. "So, put it back to whichever early 2000's cheerleader's wardrobe you stole it from."

 

Jihoon scrunches his nose but goes back to put the jacket back on the rack.

 

So far, he has gotten about two jeans that are very ripped and  _very_ tight - Woojin vetoed all his sweatpants choices but at least said yes to the Nike black one, a leather jacket whose price tag is going to be haunting Jihoon for months to come and a couple of standard t shirts that are mostly black and a little less black.

 

"New me is going to look like a grayscale copy of me." Jihoon turns to Woojin and says. "Can I at least go for red?"

 

"As long as it is not ugly." Woojin replies. Jihoon pokes his tongue out at him, and goes back deeper into the store to find something that is not #000000 or #FFFFFF on the color scale. 

 

Woojin catches up to him a few minutes later and shoves a fluffy pink sweater into his chest. "Here."

 

"It is pink." Jihoon raises an eyebrow. The sweater is his style, just a little too plain, but at least it is pink, and fluffy.

 

"Yeah, but it doesn't have any fur or zebra prints over it, so that's a win." Woojin shrugs. "Plus, you look good in pink."

 

"Oh, Woojin," Jihoon clasped a hand to his chest dramatically. "My heart is fluttering."

 

Woojin gives him an unimpressed smile. "Put down that cardigan and let's go for dinner. I am starving."

 

"But this is a plain cardigan." Jihoon holds out the hanger in his hand. "I found the plainest one possible."

 

"Yeah and it can probably fit two of you inside. Put it back."

 

Jihoon sighs and does as he is told.

 

Why has nobody ever told Jihoon that getting hot is this difficult?

 

* * *

 

“Are you sure you want to go for it?” Woojin asks solemnly.

 

“Yeah, of course,” Jihoon replies, hoping his voice came out more reassuring than the panic he feels down in the pit of his stomach.

 

“Dude,” Woojin leans an elbow on the glass case in front of them and says. “You can’t even put in eye drops by yourself. Hell, it was a fucking three people event the last time you got conjunctivitis.”

 

Jihoon tsks. “Drop it. I am an adult now, alright? I can deal with contacts.”

 

Woojin gives him an unconvinced look.

 

“I want to ditch my glasses.” Jihoon mumbles.

 

“So? Ditch them and get some pretty glasses. ” Woojin replies easily. “Nobody asked you to pick out those ginormous and hideous glasses a year ago.”

 

“Yeah, but they were _in,_ you know?” Jihoon says, tugging unconsciously at said black heavy frames across his eyes. “They were hip.”

 

“You were literally the only one who thought that.” Woojin snorts and Jihoon pinches him in the forearm. Woojin shrieks a little before saying, voice pliant. “There are so many pretty glasses here. Just pick one.”

 

“No,” Jihoon shakes his head, determined. “I am ditching the glasses. This is like the final step in every make over, don’t you know? The main character always gets hotter after she ditched her glasses.”

 

“Your habit of comparing yourself to a rom-com main actress is always so fucking unnerving.” Woojin mutters but doesn’t argue further when the optician calls Jihoon’s queue number, and they have to go in.

 

A good twenty minutes later, Jihoon is set with a shiny new pair of contacts, a pair that the optician helped him put in and out in lieu of demonstration. They are sitting in Jihoon’s bag right now because he doesn’t want to put them in when he and Woojin are gonna be watching a movie later. He always gets headaches when he switched specs so he’s gonna take it easy. He was also quite embarrassed to ask the optician’s help in putting them in again because yes, Park Woojin is right – Jihoon has always been so scared of putting anything let alone his finger in his eyes and to be honest, contacts feel like a nightmare, but Jihoon wants to look good and he has a point to prove, to Woojin if not himself, so he is gonna make it work. He’ll practice all weekend if he has to.

 

“You’d better not call me on Monday morning and cry about how you cannot put your contacts in.”

 

“Haha,” Jihoon gives a mock laugh. “Fuck you. Not all of us are blessed with 20/20 eyesight.”

 

Woojin shakes his head. “Whatever.”

 

“You could have let me gotten the blue ones.” Jihoon complains. He really wanted to get something that stands out – that would make his face stand out, but Woojin insists on getting regular transparent one. “Don’t you think they’d look good on me? My face is pale enough to make it work.”

 

“Your eyes are the prettiest things on your face. Why would you want to change them?” Woojin says, so matter-of-factly, like he is just asking to copy Math homework off of Jihoon, that Jihoon almost misses the fact that it is a bona-fide compliment.

 

“You thinks my eyes are pretty?” Jihoon asks, and Woojin just shrugs. Woojin always does this – giving off-handed compliments at the strangest time so Jihoon is just left here not knowing what to respond. “So, you think it’ll work?”

 

“What will work?”

 

“My evolution into someone hot enough for Daniel.”

 

Woojin gives him a weird face. “I’m not Daniel. How’d I know? Plus, I don’t know, Daniel doesn’t seem like a guy who is too much into, you know, hot people.”

 

“Wow, are you calling Sungwoon ugly?” Jihoon laughs.

 

“No, dude.” Woojin rolls his eyes. “I mean Daniel just looks like someone who looks past appearance.”

 

“Well, then, he should have looked past my disastrous appearance before, and just liked me.” Jihoon complains. “All those years. Or maybe, I am just not the kind of person he likes.”

 

“Dude,” Woojin sighs. “He likes you. I mean, he’s not sucking your face or anything, but the guy’s fond of you. It’s obvious.”

 

“I want him to stop being fond of me, and start being into me.” Jihoon mumbles. “Do you think I am a bad person? Trying to get someone else’s boyfriend?”

 

Woojin snorts. “You talk like you care about my opinion.”

 

“I do!” Jihoon says petulantly. If he does not seem like he cares about Woojin’s opinion, it is because if there is anything solid for Jihoon to believe in, it is that Woojin is never going to have a bad opinion about Jihoon. But now? Now, he is not very sure.

 

“Do you think I am just wasting my time? And money, I guess?” Jihoon asks, looking down at the shopping bags split between Woojin and his hands.

 

“Do you want the sugar-coated answer or the honest answer?”

 

“Sugar-coated.” Jihoon replies.

 

“Yes, I think you are wasting your time and energy and money.” Woojin says in a straight shot.

 

“What the fuck,” Jihoon blinks. “So, what’s the honest answer then? Is it gonna make me want to kill you?”

 

“Kinda. I don’t think Daniel is ever going to like you. Even if you somehow manage to break him and Sungwoon up, I don’t think he is every going to see you as a love interest.”

 

“Fuck you, Park Woojin.”

 

Woojin just shrugs. “You asked for my honest opinion.”

 

“So, why are you here then?” Jihoon asks, getting a little angry. He does not need this shit from his best friend. “If you don’t think Daniel is ever going to like me back.”

 

“I was bored and you asked.” Woojin replies, easy as ABC. “And when had I ever refused you anything even when I knew it’s gonna end badly?”

 

That much is true. The scar on Woojin’s body, from a wound that split open his 9-years old thigh when he followed Jihoon up a wobbly tree in their backyard even though he told Jihoon multiple times that the tree cannot support them both, is proof. Woojin never hides the fact that he thinks Jihoon is an idiot, but he also never fails to do whatever Jihoon wants. It is kind of confusing at times, but it is also a tremendous enabler for Jihoon to keep doing the shits he wants.

 

“I just want to try.” Jihoon mumbles. “Worth a shot.”

 

“I know,” Woojin says, shifting all the bags in his hands into one hand so he can wrap his free left hand around Jihoon’s shoulder, tugging him forward. “C’mon, I’ll let you buy a colorful belt.”

 

* * *

 

Jihoon spends the weekend clearing out his wardrobe and spending a whole afternoon at a salon to get his hair dyed. He'd call Woojin over but Woojin is out with Doyeon so Jihoon takes his loss and tells the hair stylist to do whatever that'd make him look good. He ends up with a light brown hair, which is quite normal in Jihoon's eyes and does not make him stand out in any way whatsoever but he has been informed multiple times that his eyes are not to be trusted so hopefully, it turned out alright. (And if it does not, he is running dangerously short on his savings so he cannot afford to change his hair outside of shaving it)

 

He also did not manage to put his contacts even once over the weekend. Saturday, it was because he was just staying at home anyway, and Sunday, it was because he was running late for his salon appointment and it was easier to just grab his good old specs.

 

And now it is Monday, two hours before school starts and Jihoon is hyperventilating in front of his bathroom mirror, a fragile little lens on his finger tip threatening his sanity.

 

Woojin is going to make so much fun of him, but Jihoon also only has Woojin so he calls Woojin, not remembering that it is only 6:30 (he got up an hour early to get ready). Woojin picks up on the fifth ring, opening with a "What the fuck Jihoon".

 

"Woojin!" Jihoon cries into the phone. "I can't get my lens in."

 

"I am going to shove those fucking lens into your fucking nostrils." Woojin yells and hangs up. Jihoon sighs and looks down in despair at the tiny devil on his finger before putting it back in its case. He is not just meant to be with lens. This is all his dad's fault for giving him bad eye genes and also for marrying Sungwoon's mom and also for not giving Jihoon enough pocket money so he can buy both contacts and a pair of pretty glasses. His phone rings among his internal tantrum and Jihoon looks down to see a message from Woojin.

 

**Woojin: i'll be there in 30. if u dont give me breakfast, u die**

 

Jihoon grins and sends back a thank-you and as many heart emoji as he can type.

 

At least, his dad sent him to the same primary school as Woojin. Thank god.

 

* * *

 

"Is Woojin eating breakfast here?" His dad yells from the kitchen as the rumbling noise from Katana eventually dies down in front of their house.

 

Jihoon yells back an affirmative and puts finishing touches to his styled hair the way the hair stylist taught him yesterday. It doesn't look as good as when the stylist did yesterday, but it is passable.

 

Woojin comes into his room, making as much noise as Katana did and Jihoon gives him an acknowledging nod without looking at him. Woojin doesn't say anything so Jihoon cranes his neck to look at him, and Woojin is just there at the door, staring at him.

 

"You changed your hair." Woojin comments flatly and then shut the door.

 

"Does it look nice?" Jihoon grins and asks.

 

"It is ... something." Woojin answers helpfully and Jihoon wrinkles his nose. "Where are your lenses?"

 

"Top drawer." Jihoon points to his wardrobe.

 

"Did I or did I not tell you that you cannot do this?" Woojin grumbles and stomps over to Jihoon's wardrobe.

 

"Yeah, yeah, you are right and I was wrong. Satisfied?" Jihoon grumps.

 

"I would if I didn't have to get up at fucking 6:30 in the morning." Woojin says. "Open your eyes."

 

"Dude, wash your hands first."

 

"I did on my way in." Woojin says and shoves his hand under Jihoon's nose, the Dettol hand wash scent flaring up in Jihoon's nostrils. "C'mon. I want to go eat breakfast."

 

Jihoon sighs, puts his back against the wall and opens his eyes well wide, at least until Woojin's finger almost reaches his eyelashes.

 

"Dude," Woojin says exasperatedly. "How am I gonna put it in if you keep shutting your eyes?"

 

"I got nervous." Jihoon pouts.

 

"You were doing fine when the optician put them in the other day."

 

"Yeah, because I didn't want to embarrass myself in front of her."

 

Woojin gives him a look. "But you want to embarrass yourself in front of me?"

 

Jihoon does not remind him that there is nothing left for Jihoon to feel embarrass about when it comes to Woojin. Instead, he grits himself and opens his eyes again.

 

"Why did you even get up this early?" Woojin asks, holding Jihoon's left eye wide open. Woojin smells like aftershave and the cologne Jihoon got him for his birthday and faint coffee. Jihoon kind of feels bad because Woojin does not really drink coffee unless he doesn't get enough sleep. "Not like you have to choose clothes. We have to wear our uniforms," Woojin keeps saying. "And Daniel is not even here or at school."

 

"I don't know?" Jihoon mumbles. "I was kind of nervous."

 

Woojin gives a small laugh and Jihoon realizes that during the course of their conversation, Woojin has put in the left lens. The right one follows in quickly after, with a small resistance from Jihoon but there were no tears so Jihoon counts it as a win.

 

"Thank you," Jihoon says sincerely and hands Woojin his gummy bear box from the side table. Woojin raises an eyebrow like he is surprised (probably because this is Jihoon's holy grail box of gummy bears and Jihoon normally does not share them with anyone, not even Woojin).

 

"How do I look?" Jihoon asks, after he has finished spraying his new cologne on and threw his coat on.

 

Woojin grins, a bodyless gummy bear head peaking out of his teeth. "Like the hottest onion in town."


	3. Clueless

"Should I ask dad to buy a bike for my birthday?" Jihoon muses as Katana weaves her way through the busy traffic.

 

Jihoon lives closer to their school but morning traffic is usually a bitch and it takes him as long as Woojin, who lives a good 15 minutes drive away, does on Katana to reach school. He might be able to sneak in a few more minutes to sleep if he has a bike. But then again, he will be graduating in a couple of months and he has been gunning to get dad to buy him a car when he gets into uni so whatever, he will just have to deal with his tortoise bus every morning.

 

Woojin parks Katana in their school's parking ground and Jihoon wordlessly hops off the back seat, nervously patting down at his hair that has probably got flattened by his helmet. Woojin throws him a glance over his shoulder before reaching up to Jihoon's hair himself, fingers combing through sprayed strands.

 

"Alright?" Jihoon asks and Woojin grins before grabbing him by the shoulder towards the entrance.

 

"Oh hey, by the way," Woojin says as he pulls open the glass door entrance. "I broke up with Doyeon yesterday."

 

What the fuck.

 

* * *

 

"That is not a by-the-way kind of throwaway conversation!" Jihoon is saying exasperatedly, hands all over while Woojin leans casually against the vending machine on the school patio, arms crossed. Jihoon has dragged him out here right after Woojin dropped the bomb because again, what the fuck. "What happened?"

 

"It's fine. I just told her to not see each other anymore. I decided it's better not to drag this out."

 

"Jesus," Jihoon pinches the bridge of his nose. "You didn't even tell me!"

 

"I told you last week that I am really not into this relationship, didn't I?" Woojin shrugs. "And to be honest, I wasn't meeting her with the plan to break up yesterday. It just ... happened."

 

"It's not just that." Jihoon tugs the ends of his coat sleeves over his hand, and mumbles. "You never really told me anything about you and Doyeon. I mean, I told you every thing I feel about Daniel."

 

"Maybe it was because there is nothing in particular I feel about Doyeon."

 

"That's harsh, and also rude." Jihoon tells him.

 

"I know. Why do you think I broke up with her?" Woojin rolls his eyes.

 

"If you didn't feel anything about her, then why did you date her in the first place?" Jihoon asks, feeling a little bad for Doyeon. He always thought that Doyeon did like his idiotic best friend for real.

 

"You asked me to." Woojin answers and Jihoon blinks.

 

"How is this on me?"

 

"And, I don't know, I was kind of excited? Happy? That someone like her would ask me out, you know? I could do worse for my first relationship. I just stopped being excited or happy a long time ago."

 

Jihoon sighs. "You know all the guys who already hate you for dating Doyeon are going to hate you even more now, right?"

 

"Do I look like I care?" Woojin scoffs.

 

"I am trying to keep being in my dad's good grace so he'll buy me a car," Jihoon reminds him. "I can't get into any fight at school for you."

 

Woojin rolls his eyes. "I can handle a bunch of jealous pricks don't worry. And stop doing that! Your sleeves are not long enough. You are going to stretch them out." He says, grabbing at Jihoon's hand so Jihoon would stop tugging at his sleeve ends.

 

"What about Doyeon though?" Jihoon asks. "How'd she take it? Shit, is it going to be awkward?"

 

"I hope not. I let her down gently." Woojin answers very unconvincingly.

 

"Oh, shit, Doyeon's coming our way." Jihoon points to the empty lot behind them and says. Woojin jumps with the grace of an electrocuted cat and almost brains himself trying to hide behind the vending machine.

 

"You hope not, huh?" Jihoon smirks and Woojin, realizing that he's been played, kicks at Jihoon's pants, leaving a boot print of dust on them.

 

"Urgh," Jihoon groans and leans down to brush it off. "At least we are not in the same class as Doeyeon."

 

Woojin sighs. "She was like crying. I mean, I wouldn't have felt as bad if she was like angry or yelling, you know, but she was just sad."

 

Jihoon knows that at least that feeling is genuine, so he just pats at Woojin's arms softly. "It's alright. She'll find someone better than you."

 

"That's your idea of consoling?" Woojin scoffs.

 

"You don't seem like the one that needs consoling." Jihoon says but gets interrupted by a shrilled "Ya! Park Woojin."

 

"Don't _Ya_ me. Respect your elders." Woojin leans his head out and says to Daehwi, who pays his words no mind and proceeds to punch him in the arm. "You dumped Doyeon?"

 

Woojin sighs and rubs a hand over his face. "It's already spreading?"

 

"Dude, our class GC has been going nuts. Haven't you seen?"

 

Jihoon takes out his phone to see that he does have about 145 messages in their class GC. Must have been the pings that kept coming when he was talking to Woojin earlier.

 

"I muted it around last mid term. Never unmute it." Woojin shrugs.

 

"Urgh." Daehwi rolls his eyes. "Seriously though. What were you thinking? Are you into someone else?"

 

Woojin just shrugs and Jihoon turns back to him, eyes bulged.

 

"There is someone else?" Daehwi shrieks, the exact sentiment of what Jihoon was feeling. "Did you cheat on Doyeon because I swear to god, that'd get you maimed and killed in this school."

 

"No, alright?" Woojin replies curtly. "There is no one else. I just broke up with her because I don't really like her that much."

 

"Do you want to get jumped? None of that talk." Daehwi raises a finger and hisses. "If anyone asks, tell them you just feel like she deserves someone who can love her better than you do."

 

"Damn," Jihoon mutters. "That's a good line."

 

"Yeah, ok." Woojin mumbles. "Thanks."

 

"And," Daehwi turns to Jihoon. "You. What has gotten into you?"

 

"Me?" Jihoon points at himself.

 

"You got a make over over the weekend without me?" Daehwi pouts.

 

"You noticed?" Jihoon grins. "How'd I look?"

 

"It's a yes from me." Daehwi gives him a thumbs-up. "I'm glad I finally got through to you after months of intervention."

 

Jihoon jumps from foot to foot in glee and Woojin snorts, wrapping an arm around him. "Are you that happy? Didn't know you cared that much about Daehwi's approval."

 

"Everyone would be better off if they care about my approval." Daehwi says as they walk back towards the entrance. "Seriously though, Woojin hyung, you lucked out with Doyeon. Where are you going to find someone better?"

 

"Hey," Jihoon says, feeling the need to defend his best friend a little. "Woojin is nice, ok? And he got the whole Danny Zuko thing going on. Apart from having a little bird brain, he's a catch."

 

Woojin's arm around his shoulder moves to a tight grip on the nape of Jihoon's neck and it hurts so Jihoon wriggles to get free.

 

"I don't need someone better." Woojin says as he opens the door and guides Jihoon through it first. "I want someone I like better."

 

* * *

 

When the lunch bell rings, Jihoon is more than ready. He usually does because it is lunch and he loves lunch, but today is even more special. His homeroom only has guys whose masculinity is fragile enough to not comment on or appreciate another dude's look (thank god for Daehwi) so no one really paid Jihoon any particular attention. But, lunch? Lunch is the battleground of teenage fashion and wandering eyes and gossip exchange. Jihoon had imagined walking into cafeteria and turning heads like a scene right out of She's All That, with Sixpence None the Richer's Kiss Me playing in the background no less, since Saturday.

 

"Let's go," he shakes at Woojin a little, who had been spending all of morning classes drawing rockets and sparrows and choreography formation on his worksheet, and aggressively ignoring any question about Doyeon coming his way. "I am starving." For both food and attention.

 

"I think I'm gonna eat outside today." Woojin says and gets up. "At the football field or something."

 

"What for?" Jihoon asks in mild shock.

 

"I didn't know people are interested in my relationship that much." Woojin mumbles and shoves his wallet into his pant pocket. "Going to the cafeteria right now sounds like a nightmare. I'm gonna get something to go and bounce."

 

Jihoon cries internally as the imaginary melody to Kiss Me in his head slowly fades. "Fine." He says with the enthusiasm of a dying man. "Go wait on the benches. I'll get something for us."

 

"Eat with Daehwi and Jinyoung." Woojin says.

 

"And leave you to look like a loser eating by himself on a bench?" Jihoon rolls his eyes. "I can't be best friend with a loser. Give me money for your food and go."

 

"Alright," Woojin nods and shoves some bills into Jihoon's outstretched hands. "If anyone asks, tell them I died."


	4. He's Just Not That into You

Jihoon taps his foot impatiently as he queues in front of the small convenience shop inside the cafeteria to get his and Woojin's lunch. He cannot see Daehwi and Jinyoung anywhere so he just shoots an "eating with wo(l)o(ser)jin outside" text to their GC and tries to weigh the pros and cons between kimbap and ramen for lunch.

 

"Park Jihoon," a sharp voice calls and Jihoon looks down to see Yoojung, arms crossed and lips pursed. Danger alarms in Jihoon's head go off as his self preservation instincts go into over drive because Yoojung might be tiny but she is also lethal. Jihoon has seen her flipped guys twice her size in karate class. "Where is the other Park?"

 

"He ... died." Jihoon says uselessly.

 

Yoojung glares at him and Jihoon smiles at her sheepishly. At least, Doyeon is not here because Yoojung's aggressiveness, he can handle. He is not sure about Doyeon's sadness.

 

"Tell him he'd better be because I am going to spit on his grave."

 

"Harsh." Jihoon mumbles. "Is Doyeon okay?"

 

"What do you think?" Yoojung rolls her eyes.

 

"He is not a bad person, you know," Jihoon says pleadingly. "Woojin. Maybe it is not just meant to be."

 

"He still broke my best friend's heart." Yoojung grumbles and Jihoon smiles at her in empathy.

 

"I know. I am sorry."

 

"Well, at least he knows enough to not show his face in public." Yoojung grunts. "I like your hair, by the way. Looks good on you."

 

Jihoon grins full-forced. "Yeah?"

 

"Yeah, but also, if either of you walk in front of our class, we are gonna beat you up."

 

Jihoon gulps. "Yeah. Ok."

 

* * *

 

Woojin is leaning against an upper bench, all casual and relaxed like a cat under the sun, when Jihoon walks out into the field, armed with two dry ramen cups he hurriedly cooked in the cafeteria and two kimbaps. His leather jacket is sprawled on his bent knees and his top few buttons of the uniform shirt are undone to show the muscle tee underneath, and Jihoon really should stop comparing Woojin to Danny Zuko if he does not want to ruin the perfect image of Danny Zuko in his head any time soon.

 

"Ya," Jihoon calls as he climbs to the middle bench where Woojin is lounging. "Mr. public enemy number one."

 

Woojin lifts an eye open and stretches languidly before getting up and taking the food from Jihoon.

 

"Ramen _and_ kimbap?" Woojin asks as Jihoon sits down next to him.

 

"I couldn't decide." Jihoon shrugs and hands Woojin a pair of disposable chopsticks. "I ran into Yoojung."

 

"What'd she say?" Woojin asks distractedly, busy taking out his chopsticks and stirring his ramen.

 

"That you'd die horrifically if you ever show your face around Doyeon."

 

"I figured as much." Woojin shrugs. "To be honest,  I was scared of Yoojung the most when I was breaking up with Doyeon. Fuck, what is this? Why is it so spicy?"

 

"It's the spicy ramen." Jihoon shrugs and takes a bite out of his own cup. Holy shit, yes, it _is_ spicy.

 

"Fuck you," Woojin yells and runs down the bleachers towards the vending machine.

 

Jihoon has finished half of his noodles when Woojin comes back up with two water bottles because he is _a man_ although he is not sure if it is normal to start losing the sense of taste on his tongue. He takes the water bottle from Woojin and gulps it down before laying a cool kimbap piece on his tongue.

 

"I can't believe you wasted my money on hell fire." Woojin grunts.

 

"Weak," Jihoon replies like he is not the one sitting here with sweat drops the size of golf balls on his face. "Are we gonna have to eat here every day?"

 

"I hope not." Woojin mumbles. "Maybe just this week."

 

"I finally got hot," Jihoon chomps down on his kimbap. "And I have to spend lunch here in the middle of nowhere with you instead of being adored by everyone else in the cafeteria."

 

"If you think you are going to be adored by the shitheads here," Woojin says, sniffling and wiping at his nose. "You are more stupid than I thought."

 

"Let me daydream in peace." Jihoon pouts and subtly pushes the ramen cup away so he doesn't have to eat or smell it anymore.

 

"Have you seen Daniel yet?" Woojin asks and Jihoon frowns.

  
As a matter of fact, he has not. Daniel is usually not around on weekends because the parental unit is at home and while both Jihoon's dad and Sungwoon' mom are cool with Sungwoon and Daniel dating, it is probably just awkward to hang around them. Jihoon can understand.

 

"Not yet. He'll probably come by this evening." Jihoon answers. Sungwoon has Monday afternoon classes so Daniel usually comes over after his class: the only reason Jihoon does not hate his Mondays that much.

 

"Hmm," Woojin replies lazily. "You are coming to my show next weekend, right?"

 

"Yeah, don't worry." Jihoon says. "I can't take away your one audience member."

 

Woojin just rolls his eyes and throws his water bottle towards the trash bin near the field. It misses horribly. Jihoon does not know why he even tries.

 

Jihoon absent-mindedly rubs at his eyes with his knuckles and cries in surprised pain when the spice haze remnants from his hand hits his eye full force. Woojin tsks and grabs his hand before he can do further self-inflicting damage.

 

"Where are your eyedrops?" Woojin asks and Jihoon pouts at the thought of having to put in eye drops.

 

"In my bag."

 

"C'mon then." Woojin nudges him and gets up, throwing his leather jacket back on.

 

"Hang on," Jihoon gets a grip of Woojin's arm to stop him and reaches to buttons Woojin's uniform shirt. Mr. Kim is going to bite his head off if he walks into class with even one button missing. They had the luck to have the most anal teacher in the whole school as their homeroom teacher.

 

"What?" Jihoon asks after a while because Woojin has been silently staring at him, face impassive, as Jihoon straightens Woojin's collar.

 

"Nothing," Woojin says and leads them down the bleachers. "Learn how to use eyedrops and contacts, man. I can't come and put your fucking lenses in every morning."

 

* * *

  

Woojin comes and puts in Jihoon's lenses the next morning anyway.


	5. Confessions of a Teenage (And Scared) Drama Queen

"Is Woojin eating breakfast here today too?" Ms. Ha asks as Jihoon takes out another bowl and pair of chopsticks to set on the dining table.

 

"Yeah," Jihoon nods distractedly and tries to sneak a piece of egg roll on the table into his mouth, but dad slaps his hand away before he can even try.

 

"I don't remember a plus one when I brought you home from the hospital." Dad says over his morning coffee and Jihoon pokes his tongue out at him. 

 

"That's because you are old and you don't have friends, dad."

 

"Hey!" His dad protests in indignation while Ms. Ha laughs lightly and offers Jihoon some pickles to munch on. 

 

"Morning." Jihoon turns around to see Sungwoon, way too put together for 7:30 in the morning and coming into the dining room. 

 

"I thought you don't have class today." Ms. Ha says and pulls out another bowl. Well, seems like it is a full house event today.

 

"I don't, but I have a meeting with a professor."

 

"For your class?"

 

"Kinda. I am doing this project on Korean History and my friend Minhyun's aunt is a history professor in Seoul National Museum."

 

"You are not even majoring in History." Jihoon mumbles and shakes some ketchup into a small plate. Ketchup is gross but Woojin eats his eggs with ketchup. Matter of fact, the ketchup bottle at Jihoon's house is probably eaten by Woojin only. 

 

"No, but I thought History would be a fun class to take." Sungwoon replies, taking the soup bowl from his mom. "I was wrong."

 

"Well, at least you are in university." Dad says and puts down his coffee mug, giving Jihoon the LOOKᵀᴹ. Jihoon resists the urge to roll his eyes. 

 

"I am getting into a university. Stop giving me the parental glare of disappointment." Jihoon says. Sure, he has yet to receive any offer but he has a pretty good feeling about the last school he applied. "I am sorry I am not SNU material, ok?"

 

"I didn't say anything," his dad says.

  
"Well, don't ..."

 

"What's up, guys?" Woojin bounces into the room, way too cheery, and Jihoon must have gotten too used to Katana's raging noise if he didn't even notice Woojin's arrival.

 

"Why the fuck are you so noisy for?" Jihoon turns to him and glares. Woojin frowns and glares back.

 

"Language, Jihoon!" His dad says at the same time as Woojin pulls out a chair and flops into it before turning to his dad. "What's up with your offspring this morning?"

 

"Uni talk." His dad replies and Woojin gives a knowing  _Ahh_ before grabbing his rice bowl.

 

"I am still here!" Jihoon complains and Ms. Ha smiles at him softly before giving him a big egg-roll.

 

She is the step-mother and yet, she is the only one Jihoon can stand in this house. Amazing. 

 

Breakfast goes about as well as every other day, dad and Ms. Ha launching into their adult conversation - you'd think they'd talk about like current affairs or the economy or whatever shit adults talk about, but they are mostly just gossiping on the neighbours and the price of the body wash that his dad likes but Ms. Ha thinks is too expensive for a body wash. Sungwoon is busy on the phone - probably with Daniel, Jihoon thinks bitterly - and Woojin is too busy trying to drown his eggrolls in a pool of ketchup because his tastebuds never graduated with him from elementary school. 

 

Jihoon kicks lightly at Sungwoon under the chair and Sungwoon looks up in curiosity. 

 

"I haven't seen Daniel around in a while." Jihoon says, as casually as he has practiced over and over in his mind. 

 

"He was here last week, wasn't he?" Sungwoon replies. "But yeah, he's been busy with his upcoming project. Even I hadn't seen him since Tuesday. Why? You need help with school work or something?"

 

"No," Jihoon says indignantly. "I was his friend first before he even started tutoring me. Can't I just ask after him?"

 

Woojin scoffs next to him, only to start choking soon because karma is powerful and understands that Woojin shouldn't be here eating the food out of Jihoon's house and making fun of Jihoon at the same time. 

 

"Well, I'll tell him you asked after him then." Sungwoon says unsurely and pushes the water bottle in front of Woojin. Jihoon pats at Woojin's back, putting in a little bit more than necessary force. 

 

"I can't believe we already have this much workload and it is not even midterms yet." Sungwoon continues saying like Jihoon cares. Jihoon is planning on crafting a casual but hopefully effective message to send to Daniel later on so he just let Sungwoon goes on in the background, until Woojin is getting up and nudging at him. 

 

"Let's go."

 

Jihoon nods and finishes up his breakfast. "Wash your hands before you touch my lenses."

 

"Don't I always?" Woojin says, feet already aiming towards the sink.

 

"Don't spoil him too much, Woojin." Dad says. "You really don't need to come over every morning because Jihoon can't even do this one thing."

 

"He's the only one who spoils me." Jihoon says. "Even my birth father won't."

 

"Are you calling me your father?" Woojin grins.

 

"Yes, daddy." Jihoon says and Woojin immediately convulses, face distorting into disgust. 

 

"Don't ever call me that again if you want to still see out of two eyes."

 

Jihoon pokes his tongue out at him before popping the last piece of egg roll into his mouth. "We'll go after he puts in my lenses. Goodbye, Ms. Ha. Have a good day later!"

 

"There are still two people sitting here." Dad complains gruffly.

 

"Yeah but I only like one." Jihoon says and dad rolls his eyes while Sungwoon dumbly asks  _what did I even do_?

 

Ms. Ha laughs them out of the kitchen.

 

"Why are you still calling her Ms. Ha?" Woojin asks as he follows Jihoon into his bedroom. "She is Mrs. Park if anything. Also, Sungwoon calls your dad as just dad, doesn't he?"

 

"It's weird to call her mom." Jihoon shrugs. "I've been calling her Ms. Ha since I've met her, and she doesn't have any problem with it."

 

"She doesn't have any kind of problem with you." Woojin says, hands already holding Jihoon's left eye open. "How is she so nice?"

 

"I know, right?" Jihoon says and blinks a little as the left contact goes in. "That's why I only like her."

 

"You are such a kid." Woojin shakes his head. Jihoon does not remind him that Woojin bought an extra set of Legos the other day for himself while he was getting a present for Yerim. "And when are you going to practice putting in lenses on your own?"

 

"Why? I have you." Jihoon grins and Woojin slaps him on his forehead, so Jihoon obviously has to reiterate by punching him back in the arm. It took them another fifteen minutes and a couple of yelling from dad to finally move on and head out. 

 

* * *

 

Jihoon backspaces all the words he have typed in the tiny chat box on kakao although there are not many words. He has been trying to send Daniel a text, but who knows casual texts are the hardest to send.

 

He finally settles on "Hi hyung, Sungwoon said you are busy with a project. Fighting!" That doesn't sound as clingy as "I haven't seen you around lately" or as desperate as "I want to see you" or as distant as a "what's up".

 

And now that that is out of the way, Jihoon scrolls through his gallery to find a suitable photo that he can change his profile picture to.

 

"Does this one look good?" He raises his phone to Woojin, who is climbing up the bleachers with a pizza box in hand. They are eating outside today again, but Woojin refuses to eat any more spicy ramen or the cold kimbap from the cafeteria so they settled on a pizza delivery.

 

"You look like Casper the friendly ghost." Woojin says and shoves a pizza slice into his mouth. Jihoon temporarily considers pushing him down the bleachers. "What's this for?"

 

"I want to change my kakao profile picture." Jihoon says and opens his camera so he can get a good selfie but he is sitting against the sun and there is also a new pimple on his chin because life is a bitch and so are teenage hormones. 

 

"Hang on," Woojin says, taking out his phone, and a couple of seconds later, he is air dropping Jihoon a couple of photos, all of Jihoon from yesterday when they went to Han river because Woojin was craving for the chicken from one of the small food trucks near the Banpo Park.

 

"When did you even take these?" Jihoon asks, scrolling through the photos of Jihoon looking over at the river. If he crops the half bitten chicken in his hand, any of them would make a fly-as-fuck profile picture. 

 

"I did good, didn't I?" Woojin nudges at his shoulder and asks. "If I can make your ugly mug looks good, that means I have like National Geography level photography talent."

 

"Dream on," Jihoon scoffs and chooses two as the finalist, one that shows more of the background and one that focuses on his face. "Which one?"

 

Woojin points at the one with his face focus without hesitation. 

 

"Are you sure I don't look too .. round?" Jihoon squints at the picture and asks. 

 

"No, you look cute." Woojin replies. "Like some kind of chubby squirrel."

 

Jihoon glares at him. "I don't want to look like a chubby squirrel. I want to look like a sexy vixen."

 

"Not happening." Woojin says and Jihoon steals the pizza slice in his hand. Woojin slaps at his hand before grabbing another slice. "It looks fine. Just change it."

 

"Yeah, ok." Jihoon nods and sets that very picture as his profile. "Can we please eat inside next week? My ass is gonna get molded to the shape of these benches at this point."

 

"Let's see," Woojin shrugs. "At least Yoojung isn't hissing out poison every time I run into her anymore."

 

"Maybe she finally figures out a perfect way to kill you without getting caught."

 

Woojin sighs. "My life is difficult."

 

Jihoon rolls his eyes. He wishes his life is difficult in the way Woojin's is because he doesn't like the hot and popular girl at school back. 

 

His phone pings with a message and Jihoon looks down to see Daniel has sent back a message.

 

**K.Daniel: Thanks Jihoon :)**

**K.Daniel: Let's hang out if I don't die by the end of this project!**

 

Jihoon breaks out into a smile that he cannot control, and nudges Woojin by the shoulder. "Daniel says he wants to hang out."

 

"Hmm," Woojin answers, not sounding that interested over this incredible progress that Jihoon is making. 

 

"You know," Woojin starts after a while. "If I didn't give up on tutoring you in eighth grade, you'd not have known Kang Daniel."

 

"I knew him before that, dumbass." Jihoon rolls his eyes. "And if you didn't give up on tutoring me, both of us wouldn't have lived to turn 17."

 

Woojin laughs, because he probably knows that is true. 

 

Jihoon's English marks were down there right in the gutter since he started high school because Jihoon has never been particularly strong in language whereas Woojin was getting at least a 70 on every exam, probably from all the Western porns he definitely shouldn't be watching as an eighth grade student. Dad wanted Woojin to tutor Jihoon a bit (probably because free labour) and Woojin did try but they end up fighting in every study session because Woojin is Woojin and Jihoon would die first before seeing him have any kind of power over Jihoon and Woojin didn't skimp out on the judgement and mockery through the few tutor sessions they manage to complete without killing each other. And after Jihoon's dad realised that Woojin's tutor sessions are going nowhere for Jihoon, he asked Jihoon's English teacher for some in-school tutoring sessions, his teacher pointed them at the senior tutor program, entered Kang Daniel and the rest is history. 

 

Jihoon has known, since his voice changed and since he has hair grown in funny places that he is not exactly the same as other boys his age, not even Woojin. The secret videos and manga books that Woojin gleefully exchanged with other students in their homerooms didn't really excite Jihoon in the way they are supposed to, and sometimes, Jihoon caught himself staring at a cute boy at the mall far too longer than he feels is normal, but it is not until Daniel that realisation hit Jihoon. Daniel is his gay awakening, or more romantically speaking, his first love and Jihoon didn't even dream about Daniel reciprocating his feelings until Sungwoon gets into the picture and Jihoon is suddenly left with the useless knowledge that Daniel does like guys and that maybe, just maybe, if he has tried before, it could have been Jihoon instead of Sungwoon who is smiling at Daniel in Daniel's kakao talk profile picture. 

 

“Shit!” Woojin exclaims at the same second that Jihoon feels the ping of a water droplet on his head.

 

Jihoon looks up, only to feel a few more droplets right onto his face as the dark clouds draw over their heads.

 

“C’mon.” Woojin grabs him by the shoulder and Jihoon quickly follows him in suit to run down the bleachers and towards the school building.

 

“We are not eating out here again,” Jihoon yells halfway through and Woojin turns to him with a bright smile before throwing his jacket at Jihoon’s head.

 

“For your head,” Woojin says and takes off as Jihoon fumbles to catch the jacket and puts it over his head.

 

The rain does not feel that heavy and yet Jihoon can feel his shoulders getting noticeably wet before both of them reach inside.

 

“Maybe it’s hail.” Jihoon mumbles as he takes a look at Woojin’s letterman jacket, which has absorbed quite a lot of rain in place of Jihoon’s head. Woojin, on the other hand, looks like a drowned rat.

 

“It doesn’t hail here idiot.” Woojin replies and shakes his head like a wet dog and a passing by teacher tsks at him.

 

“Your jacket is wet too. You are gonna catch a cold.” Jihoon pushes him towards the washroom and says.

 

“I am a Busan man. We don’t catch colds.” Woojin says and Jihoon only scoffs.

 

“You should have just …” Jihoon is only half way through his sentence when Woojin suddenly runs, like legit ducks and dashes, into the washroom.

 

“What? Where do …” Jihoon says dumbly and looks around only to see Yoojung and Doyeon coming up the corner.

 

Right. No wonder.

 

Jihoon considers running too but Yoojung is already looking (glaring) at him and he is never as quick on his feet as Woojin so he doesn’t even try.

 

“Hello.” He says to them dumbly. Yoojung nods back at him sullenly while Doyeon just smiles. “You guys had lunch?”

 

“Yeah,” Doyeon nods. “You?”

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon replies back. “Me and Woo … I mean … me and my lone self, no one else really, ha, had eaten. Lunch, you know. Food.”

 

“Use words that make sense, Jihoon.” Yoojung says and Jihoon sighs.

 

“Yes, I have eaten.”

 

“You can tell Woojin,” Doyeon says, looking at the jacket in Jihoon’s hand and Jihoon immediately shoves it behind his back. “… that he can eat lunch inside. It’s starting to rain lately so you guys don’t need to eat outside just to avoid me.”

 

Jihoon does not ask her how she knows because the whole school loves her and everyone is probably spying on them for her.

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon nods. “Yeah, ok. Thanks, Doyeon.”

 

“For what?” Doyeon laughs lightly.

 

“Just, you know, just because.” Jihoon smiles back.

 

“See you around,” Doyeon says as Yoojung punches him in the arm in lieu of a goodbye.

 

Jihoon lets out a huge sigh and makes his way into the washroom. Woojin is at the sink in front of the mirror, shaking his fingers through his hair.

 

“Doyeon said you can stop being chicken shit and eat in the cafeteria like a normal fucking human.”

 

“I don’t see all those curse words coming out of Doyeon’s mouth.” Woojin raises an eyebrow and says.

 

“I took the liberty of making her message more impactful.” Jihoon says. “What did you do to your hair?”

 

“I was drying it with some tissues and I didn’t know they are this flaky?” Woojin grimaces. “Look at this. I look like I have dandruffs.”

 

Jihoon scoffs.

 

“I can’t believe our parents are paying so much money in tuition for these flaky tissues.” Woojin pouts and shakes his head violently but a few stubborn flakes remain.

 

 “You are a disaster.” Jihoon says and reaches into Woojin’s hair to pick up the remaining flakes. “When did you grow this tall without me?”

 

Jihoon knew, much to his disappointment, that Woojin has grown taller than him since a year back, but he never really noticed that it is this much. Woojin bends down further so Jihoon has an easier time reaching for his head.

 

“A lot things happened to me without you.” Woojin says matter-of-factly and that is what Jihoon had been thinking about lately. Woojin has always been here but it felt like Woojin grew up without Jihoon – he grew out of puberty like a champ, got a girlfriend and turned into this semi-famous dancer all without Jihoon, even though Jihoon was right next to him all those times. Hell, Jihoon hasn’t even considered actually dating Daniel until Woojin started seeing Doyeon because he never actually felt like they are at an age where crushes could blossom into actual tangible relationships.

 

“If I don’t get into Konkuk,” Jihoon says. “Promise me we’d still hang out.”

 

Woojin has gotten his offer letter from Konkuk university a week back – Jihoon has no doubt that he’d get it given that Woojin has an impressive list of performance and references needed for his Liberal Arts program. It makes Jihoon more and more anxious for his own admission but it doesn’t make him any less proud.

 

“Are you kidding me?” Woojin snorts. “Do you think you could get rid of me that easily?”

 

In a way, yes. It is not like they are next door neighbors who can see each other on a daily basis without putting in some effort. Plus, Jihoon knows Woojin wants to move to an on-campus dorm, so if Jihoon doesn’t get into the same school with him, chances are that work and life will eventually get in between them and Jihoon has been conditioned for a good 12 years to not know how to live his life without Woojin.

 

“You are .. wait, you are serious.” Woojin says. “Do you really think we’d stop being friends if we don’t get into the same school?”

 

“Well, you never know right?” Jihoon replies petulantly. “What if we cannot find time for each other? Or if you start dating some college girl you need to spend more time with?”

 

“Jihoon,” Woojin puts both his hands on Jihoon’s shoulder and bends down so he is eye to eye with Jihoon. “I’d never go anywhere without you, you know that, right?”

 

It does not sound that realistic, but Jihoon somehow believes him.

 


	6. Love Actually?

On Saturday, Jihoon wakes up to the smell of Kimchi and soya sauce. Ms. Ha must be making side dishes.

 

He goes outside into the kitchen to see her doing just that, except it is a mountain of food in place of a few containers like he was expecting. 

 

"My god," Jihoon exclaims. "Are you making enough to feed the whole Korean army?"

 

Ms. Ha laughs. "No, I am making enough to feed Daniel."

 

"Daniel is here?" Jihoon perks up and asks, hands automatically reaching for the glasses on his face. 

 

"No, Sungwoon is dropping these off at his dorm." Ms. Ha replies, and man, she is so cool. Sure, his dad is cool with Daniel but he doesn't really go out of his way for Daniel and Jihoon does not see him doing the same for any of Jihoon's future boyfriends either. 

 

Speaking of the devil, Sungwoon walks into the kitchen, a handful of plastic bags in his hands.

 

"Can I come with you?" Jihoon immediately turns to ask. "To Daniel's dorm?" 

 

Sungwoon gives him a surprised look.

 

"Woojin has a show so he's at the rehearsal now." Jihoon quickly gives a justification. "I don't have anything to do until his show starts. Plus, I want to see what a college dorm looks like."

 

It's a flimsy excuse at best, but Sungwoon shrugs and nods. "Sure. You can help me carry these up three flights of stairs."

 

"Hang on," Jihoon says. "Let me just go shower and change."

 

Time to whip out his brand new wardrobe.

 

* * *

 

"You really get dressed up for Woojin's show, huh?" Sungwoon asks as Jihoon helps him put the boxes over boxes of side dishes into the backseat. 

 

"Yeah," Jihoon nods dumbly and climbs into the front seat. "For Woojin."

 

Sungwoon drives in silence for a while before turning to Jihoon at a red light. "You put in your contacts by yourselves this morning?"

 

"Yeah," Jihoon shrugs. Now that he is two weeks in with his lenses, they do not seem that daunting anymore and he had to put them in by himself earlier because Jihoon at least knows not to interrupt Woojin when he is at rehearsal and he doesn't want to seem like a child in front of Sungwoon or Ms. Ha.

 

"So, Woojin is not coming around for breakfast any more?" 

 

"I guess." Jihoon nods slowly. He has, to be fair, gotten too used to having Woojin over before breakfast and going to school with him. It's going to suck if he has to now go back to using the public bus. 

 

"You are lucky to have Woojin, you know?" Sungwoon says and Jihoon scoffs.

 

"He made sure to close all the windows and the door to my room yesterday before letting out the nastiest fart of his life." Jihoon says.

 

Sungwoon laughs. "Yeah but he also got up an hour earlier so he can go out of his way to come and put your lenses in every morning, and then comes home with you to take them out. I don't think even Daniel would do that for me."

 

"Maybe he will if you ask." Jihoon mumbles. "He seems like pretty much the ideal boyfriend."

 

"He has his moments." Sungwoon smiles and turns into the SNU campus. 

 

Jihoon does not say anything further. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey!" Daniel opens his door with the smile that Jihoon remembers exactly. "I just submitted it!"

 

"Congrats," Sungwoon smiles, stepping into the tiny room and tiptoeing to give Daniel a kiss on the cheek. Jihoon looks away in awkwardness.

 

"Thank you. I also showered for the first time in two days. Are you proud of me?"

 

Sungwoon laughs. "Very."

 

"Hey, Jihoon!" Daniel calls like he just sees Jihoon hovering in the doorway awkwardly. "You came along?"

 

"Yeah, I didn't have anything to do." Jihoon says. "And you said we can hang out after your project."

 

"Yeah, I did." Daniel laughs and takes the plastic bags full of food from Jihoon's hand. Sungwoon didn't even ask when did Daniel say he and Jihoon can hang out. He does not even look like he cares. Jihoon sometimes wonder how the both of them are so oblivious to the big pink elephant in the room that is Jihoon's crush on Daniel. It took Woojin only a couple of days after Daniel first tutored Jihoon to realise that Jihoon is crushing on his tutor hard. And Jihoon hadn't even come out to Woojin back then. 

 

"Should we go for lunch?" Daniel grins. "I mean, I'm very grateful your mom sent all these, but I want to eat out, celebrate a little today."

 

"Yeah, sure." Sungwoon says, helping Daniel shove all the containers into the mini fridge inside the room. The domesticity does not surprise Jihoon but it makes him feel a little out of the place, like he is intruding something he shouldn't. "Give me like fifteen minutes though. Minhyun asks me to drop by when I reach."

 

"Sure," Daniel shrugs, already munching on the pickled bean sprouts. "Jihoon, do you want anything to drink? I only have water and energy drinks and beer."

 

"Beer." Jihoon says without hesitation and Sungwoon turns to glare at him.

 

"Water," Jihoon pouts and corrects himself. It is not that he is scared of Sungwoon or anything, ok? It is just that Sungwoon is a snitch who will rat him out to dad back. 

 

Daniel laughs and throws him a water bottle from the fridge.

 

Sungwoon takes off for a while to meet up his friend who stays a floor down so Jihoon is left with Daniel in Daniel's very own room, sitting on Daniel's bed while Daniel is at his dresser, getting ready. It seems like an ideal situation that past Jihoon would have killed people over for, but now that he is here, it is just awkward and uncomfortable, which is weird because it is not like Jihoon hasn't been alone with Daniel before. 

 

"How was the project?" Jihoon asks after a while. "I know you just submitted it but did you do well?"

 

"I guess." Daniel smiles at him from the mirror. "Could have been better but could have been worse also."

 

"Hmm," Jihoon hums. "Is college more stressful than high school?"

 

"It's a different kind of stress." Daniel laughs. "I don't want to sound pessimistic but I don't think it is possible for us in this day and age to never not be stressed."

 

"Very comforting." Jihoon laughs.

 

"Are you worried about college?" Daniel asks. 

 

"No shit." Jihoon grumbles. "Woojin got into Konkuk."

 

"Oh really?" Daniel grins. "Nice."

 

"Well, yeah, for him, but I haven't heard back from any school."

 

"They are just starting the admission reviews." Daniel says consolingly. "Don't sweat it too much."

 

Easier said than done, but Jihoon nods along anyway. 

 

"Hey," Sungwoon bursts into the room suddenly, and Jihoon looks up at him in question. "I am really sorry guys, but Minhyun fucking lost the transcript for the interview we did with his aunt."

 

"Holy shit, for your history project?" Daniel exclaims. 

 

"Yeah, he thought I have a copy but I don't. I am going to murder him after this project and you are morally required as my boyfriend to help me hide the body." Sungwoon grumbles. "But his aunt says we can come to her house and do the interview again so I am gonna have to skip out on lunch."

 

"Oh," Jihoon says. "It's ok. I will see if Daehwi or Jinyoung is free."

 

"No, you two go ahead." Sungwoon says. "Daniel wants to eat out anyway. Niel, can you drop off Jihoon afterwards? I need to take the car."

 

"Yeah, sure." Daniel shrugs. "You let me know when you are done and I'll come meet you."

 

"Ok," Sungwoon smiles and leans up to kiss Daniel. "Jihoon, make him buy expensive food."

 

Daniel laughs and goes out with Sungwoon to the outside corridor while Jihoon tries to absorb what just happened. He is going to lunch, alone with Daniel. Like a date, but not really. 

 

But still kind of like a date, isn't it?

 

* * *

 

"What do you want to eat?" Daniel says as he leads Jihoon out of campus. Daniel does not have a car and Jihoon does not want to make him waste money on cab so they settle on taking the bus. 

 

"Italian," Jihoon says without hesitation. 

 

"Really?" Daniel laughs. "I thought you would say chicken or something."

 

Jihoon would much prefer chicken, but Jihoon eating chicken, according to Woojin, is very similar to a forest fire inhaling everything in its path, and Jihoon does not think forest fires are attractive. Plus, the only date-appropriate food Jihoon can think of is Italian. 

 

It is not even a date. 

 

"I know a good Italian place not far from here actually." Daniel is saying.

 

"Yeah, ok." Jihoon agrees quickly and tries to get out of his head before he ruins this.

 

* * *

 

"Table for two." Daniel says to the waiter at the hostess counter as he leads Jihoon into what seems like a slightly upscale restaurant, and Jihoon is suddenly glad that he is wearing his new jeans and shoes. 

 

"Should I be telling Sungwoon?" The waiter says and Jihoon looks at him in curiosity. 

 

"This is Sungwoon's brother." Daniel laughs and throws an arm over Jihoon. Jihoon kind of shrinks a little in nervousness.

 

"Sungwoon has a brother?" The waiter raises his eyebrows and gives Jihoon a thorough stare. "You got the good genes, huh, kid?"

 

"Step-brother." Jihoon corrects him. "We don't share genes."

 

"Jaehwan, can you stop putting your foot in your mouth and start doing your job?" Daniel sighs. "Get us a table."

 

"Sure, c'mon." Jaehwan leads them into quite busy restaurant. "Your usual table is fine, right?"

 

So, this is where Daniel and Sungwoon often, if not usually, have their dates at. Italian does not really sound that appetising to Jihoon anymore. 

 

But still, Jihoon gets seated across Daniel in a cozy and dimly-lit corner of the restaurant, a polished wooden table separating them. 

 

"Sounds like you two come here often," Jihoon says as he scans through the menu and only knowing spaghetti out of all the choices. Italian is starting to seem more and more like a bad choice.

 

"It's close to campus." Daniel smiles. "A lot of our friends work here actually, so we are kind of regular clientele. Do you know what you want?"

 

"Spaghetti and meatballs." Jihoon says decisively.

 

* * *

 

"Can I try a sip?" Jihoon points at Daniel's wine glass with his fork and says. Daniel looks down at the glass in his hand and seems to be thinking it over before finally handing it over to Jihoon.

 

"Don't tell Sungwoon."

 

"Like I would." Jihoon grins and takes a sip. It does not taste as bad as he was anticipating but it is not something he can imagine himself drinking regularly either.

 

"You don't like it, huh?" Daniel smiles and Jihoon wonders if his grimace was obvious.

 

"It's fine. I thought it would be .. sweeter."

 

"You get used to it." Daniel shrugs and gulps down half the glass. "You are growing up a lot, you know?"

 

"Me?" Jihoon points at himself and blinks.

 

"Yeah, when I first met you, you were what? 14?"

 

"15." Jihoon mumbles and corrects him. 

 

"Right, but you were still a kid with those big round glasses and your Transformer backpack. Now, you are getting worried over college and asking me for wine. You've grown up a lot."

 

"I will be an adult in a few months." Jihoon pokes at his meatball and grumbles. "I am not a kid anymore."

 

"I know. I am just not getting used to you not being a kid anymore, I guess." Daniel replies, and well, that is the problem, isn't it? "If it's any consolation, growing up looks good on you by the way."

 

Jihoon can feel his cheeks growing warmer and he does not think it is from the wine. 

 

"Do I look ok?" he asks, sounding exactly like a child asking for approval despite his very best efforts not to.

 

"You look great." Daniel smiles like he means it. "Not that you don't look cute before, but you look more grown up, like you are finally fitting into your frame."

 

Jihoon tries to hide his pleased smile into his glass of water.

 

"Are you seeing someone?"

 

Daniel asks and Jihoon has to shake himself a little to make sure that he actually heard what he thinks Daniel is asking.

 

"Me? I ... no. Why are you asking?"

 

"Sungwoon mentioned you were suddenly getting a makeover so we thought maybe you are seeing someone new." Daniel shrugs.

 

"No, nothing like that." Jihoon shakes his head. "I just .. well, there is a boy."

 

"A boy, huh?" Daniel grins. "Crush or boyfriend?"

 

"The first," Jihoon mumbles and Daniel's grin gets wider. "Does he go to your school?"

 

"Kinda?" Jihoon says unsurely.

 

"Dude, he either does or does not go to your school. How is it kinda?" Daniel laughs.

 

"It is complicated," Jihoon shrugs. "Anyway, I wanted to, you know, see if he'd like me any more if I look better, I guess."

 

"And did he?"

 

"No," Jihoon laughs, kind of bitter. "I don't think so. I am starting to think he is never going to like me."

 

"Does he tell you that?" Daniel frowns.

 

"Nah, but he doesn't need to."

 

"I am sorry, kid." Daniel says and it does not feel comforting at all for Jihoon. "Unrequited crushes are a bitch."

 

"How'd you know?" Jihoon scoffs. "The first boy you asked out likes you back and has been dating you for a year."

 

"Do you really think Sungwoon is the first boy I liked?" Daniel raised an eyebrow and ok, Jihoon has to admit that it kind of threw him off the loop a little bit. "He is my first boyfriend. Doesn't mean I grew up not having feelings for other boys."

 

"Wow, saucy." Jihoon mutters and Daniel laughs at him. "But then why do you never ask them out? You did tell me that Sungwoon is the first person you've ever asked out."

 

"Because I knew I wanted more from him." Daniel replies back easily. "I knew he was more than a crush."

 

"There is a difference?" Jihoon blinks. "If you have a crush on someone, it means you want to be with them, no?"

 

"Not for me, at least. I easily like a lot of people. Mom says I was a dog in my past life." Daniel laughs. 

 

"Oh," Jihoon says unsurely. "How do you know then? That Sungwoon is ... someone more?"

 

Daniel, for the first time today, seems like he doesn't have an easy answer for whatever question Jihoon throws at him. "I .. don't know. It just ... he makes sense to me."

 

"Huh?"

 

"I know," Daniel laughs. "I am terrible at explaining this, but I just knew. It's like, this feeling you've had, like those mornings when you wake up in such a good mood that you are sure you are going to have a good day throughout, it is that feeling every time I am around him. Outside of your heart fluttering and flirting and all that, there is just this safe and content feeling in the background but at the same time, it is a little scary because you just know you cannot lose that person in any way. That kind of feeling, you know."

 

Jihoon, in fact, does not know, but he does know one thing.

 

"You like Sungwoon a lot, don't you?"

 

Daniel laughs freely. "What gives?"

 

Jihoon watches him in stolen glances as Daniel goes back to his own food and wonders what he even feels around Daniel. Daniel is someone he does depend on a lot but Jihoon does not remember feeling that kind of wide-eyed poetic-worthy type of emotions that seem to pour out from Daniel whenever he talks about Sungwoon. Jihoon does not understand what 'safe and content' feel like around a person - maybe dad but he is Jihoon's parent, Jihoon is supposed to feel safe around him, and the only person who Jihoon is scared of losing ever is Woojin. 

 

"Are you alright?" Daniel asks, probably noticing that Jihoon has been uncharacteristically quiet for the past few minutes.

 

"Yeah, yeah." Jihoon nods. "I am just thinking."

 

"That's a little out of the field for you." Daniel grins and Jihoon rolls his eyes. This, he is familiar with, the good-natured teasing and the jokes. "What are you thinking about? College again?"

 

"No," Jihoon scoffs. "I might actually die from stress if I keep thinking about college 24/7."

 

"So?"

 

"Just.." Jihoon shakes his head. "This boy."

 

"Your crush?" Daniel asks. 

 

"Yeah, him." Jihoon nods. "I like him for so long, you know, and I have like all these different scenarios in my head imagined happening with him like kissing under the rain or sharing a string of pasta or whatever."

 

Daniel laughs but it does not feel like he is mocking Jihoon. It just sounds like he is genuinely amused.  "And?"

 

"And I don't think the reality lives up to it." Jihoon admits. "It's like I've imagined all the sparks and fireworks in my heart and sparkles in my eyes, you know, all the intense feelings when I get a chance with him, but I don't know. It is almost like I have already accepted that I am not gonna be with him and it doesn't really hurt as much as I was expecting it to? It's confusing."

 

"Maybe it's the teenage hormones." Daniel grins. 

 

"Shut up." Jihoon mumbles. "I am being sincere here."

 

"Sorry," Daniel says. "I don't know. Maybe you just fall out of the crush."

 

"But, I've liked him for years."

 

Daniel looks at him in surprise. "Really? That long? Well, maybe that's it then. You were just so comfortable with him being this ... dream-like thing that you never really considers if that's what you really want. Sometimes, what you want and what you think you want are not the same thing."

 

"I really wanted him though." Jihoon mumbles.

 

"You know I didn't want a relationship ever since I figured out I was gay?" Daniel asks, out of the blue.

 

"You did?"

 

"Yeah, I just figured it's not worth it. Coming out and having to deal with all the shit that comes with it, I just thought I'd graduate high school, maybe college here and then moves to somewhere more accepting. Never really thought about dating before I even started college."

 

"Before Sungwoon?" Jihoon guesses.

 

"Yeah," Daniel smiles. "I met him and then I realised what I thought I wanted all this while is not actually what I want. It's fine though. To not really know what you want or what you need. You'll figure it out along the way. That's part of the growing up."

 

"You should do a Ted talk." Jihoon says flatly. 

 

"I sounded boring, didn't I?" Daniel wrinkles his nose and says. 

 

"No, it was ..." Jihoon shakes his head. "Helpful, I guess. Thank you."

 

"You are welcome," Daniel smiles. "I do miss hanging out with you. You always make me feel more mature than I am."

 

"Don't let it get to your head." Jihoon laughs. "It's only because I didn't grow up with a lot of cool dudes around me."

 

"Ooh, are you calling me cool?" Daniel whispers. 

 

"Like bare minimum standard of being cool." Jihoon says. "I didn't have a lot of choices."

 

"Brat," Daniel laughs and leans over to ruffle Jihoon's hair. "You want me to drop you off at your home after this?"

 

"You don't even drive. There is no dropping me off." Jihoon says. "I am heading to Woojin's show in Hongdae. It's supposed to start at 4."

 

"I can take you there." Daniel offers.

 

"No, don't worry about it." Jihoon says, surprising even himself. He should have been jumping at the chance to spend more time with Daniel alone, but right now, Jihoon is too confused, about his own feelings and about Daniel and just about everything. "I know Sungwoon asked you to drop me off but I can find my way to Hongdae."

 

"Let me at least get you a cab." Daniel says. "It's quite far from here."

 

"Ok," Jihoon shrugs. "But you are paying the cab fare."

 

Daniel laughs. "You are always milking me dry, kid."

 

Jihoon pokes his tongue out at him. 

 

* * *

 

Jihoon reaches the small showcase stage in Hongdae 10 minutes after 4 because there was light traffic on the way. He was slightly worrying that the show might have started already but he had been to enough of Woojin's shows to know that they always tend to run late, and just as he thought, the stage is still empty with some generic dance music bleating out of the speakers by the time Jihoon arrived.

 

There is a sizeable crowd formed around the stage and Jihoon does not feel like getting himself lost in the crowd so he just settled at the back and found himself a nice little platform where he can have a clear view of the stage even though it is not very close. He drops a text to Woojin saying that he is here but Woojin does not even read it. Not ten minutes later, the beats change into a sound Jihoon is all too familiar with because Woojin has been practicing that song for weeks, and Woojin's group come onto stage amidst the cheers and shouts from the crowd. Woojin is immediately noticeable, his red hair striking against his green military jacket and Jihoon makes a mental note to tell him later that he is only a yellow shade away from looking like a traffic light. Woojin's face is impassive except for a slight smirk peeking out because Woojin always loves being on stage and also knows that he looks good on stage. Jihoon would say conceit is a bad look on Woojin, but then he'd be lying. 

 

Woojin's eyes land on Jihoon as he finished his kung fu panda mid-air turn to the applause of he crowd and landed on his feet; the smirk on Woojin's face gets replaced by a sincere smile as he beams at Jihoon even from the far away stage. And then the smile is gone in a flash, Woojin already moving on and changing his formation across the stage, but his smile remains in Jihoon's head.

 

Jihoon does not know why he is wondering if this is the kind of making sense Daniel was talking about. 


	7. When Jihoon Met Woojin

"Hey!" Jihoon calls at Woojin, and then suddenly, there is a flurry of red hair and cologne smell all over him because Woojin ran towards him and picked him up. Jihoon slaps at Woojin's shoulder until he puts Jihoon down. Woojin is always like this after a show - too energetic and touchy from the leftover adrenaline and hype so Jihoon doesn't make a big deal out of it although he does not appreciate getting picked up like a rag doll in public.

 

"Eat dinner at my house." Woojin says, zipping up his duffle bag. "I'm starving. Let's move."

 

"I just ate lunch an hour back."

 

"Mom made snail soup."

 

Yeah, ok. Sold. Jihoon's dad cannot stand snails so the only times Jihoon gets to eat any kind of snail dish is outside or at Woojin's place and to be honest, no place Jihoon has been to lives up to Woojin's mom's snail soup.

 

Woojin snickers like he knows he got Jihoon, hook, line and sinker. "You wanna sleep over? Mom made a lot so she'll probably make snail porridge for breakfast tomorrow."

 

"I can't," Jihoon whines. "Dad and Ms. Ha are leaving for Phuket tonight."

 

"Oh, the anniversary trip you were telling me about?" Woojin asks. "Damn, it's already their anniversary?"

 

"Yeah, gross." Jihoon grumbles.

 

Woojin uses the hand he has over Jihoon's shoulder to pull at Jihoon's ear and his fingers are sweaty and gross so Jihoon elbows him in the ribs.

 

"Woojin."

 

Woojin stills next to Jihoon and stares blankly ahead at Doyeon, who is smiling uncertainly at them.

 

"Hi, Jihoon."

 

"Hey, erm," Jihoon says. "What's up?"

 

"Can we talk for a while?"

 

"Me?" Jihoon points at him and Woojin turns at him to give a look as if to say _'Really, dude?'_

 

"Right, yeah. Him, of course." Jihoon flusters around and Woojin's hold on him tightens.

 

"What do you want to talk about?"

 

"Come with me for coffee first," Doyeon says. "Then, we can talk. It's cold out here."

 

"I always tell you your jackets are too thin."

 

"And I always tell you back that I'll wear whatever I want." Doyeon smiles back.

 

And Jihoon would like tell the both of them that he is still here, thank you very much.

 

"C'mon. It won't take long." Doyeon insists and Woojin looks like he doesn't know what to do, so Jihoon nudges him a little.

 

"Go with her, dude."

 

"One minute," Woojin says to her and turns back so that they are not facing her anymore.

 

"What if she is luring me to a deserted place so Yoojung can finally murder me?" Woojin hisses into Jihoon's ear.

 

"Are you scared?" Jihoon scoffs.

 

"Of Yoojung? Erm, yeah, absolutely." Woojin replies and okay, point taken.

 

"Maybe she just wants to talk things out so you two are not awkward at school anymore. You know, closure or whatever." Jihoon tries to reason. "Just go and listen to what she has to say."

 

"Fine," Woojin sighs. "You go ahead to my house first."

 

"Sure," Jihoon nods, and lets Woojin go, who leads Doyeon into the next street full of cafes with an unsure look on his face.

 

The bus to Woojin's house is crowded because it is Hongdae, and it is never not crowded. Jihoon suddenly wishes he was on Katana, feeling the winter air on his body even though he always complains to Woojin that it is freezing. Despite what he had said to Woojin, Jihoon does not think what Doyeon wants is closure - in fact, it is probably quite the opposite of closure. Ever since they had started eating back in the cafeteria, Jihoon has noticed Doyeon always looking at Woojin - not to sound like a cliche romance novel but this is the only word Jihoon can think of - _longingly_. Daehwi noticed it too and they were just chatting the other day that Doyeon probably is not over Woojin, at least not yet.

 

Jihoon takes out his phone to text Daehwi. **Doyeon came to ask Woojin to talk.**

 

Daehwi's reply comes lightning fast.

 

**Daehwi: dude what did I say. she's so not over him. do u think shes asking him to see each other again?**

 

**To Daehwi: maybe? idk. i can ask him later**

 

**Daehwi: have u thought abt what i told u**

 

**To Daehwi: no. nth to think abt. i told u. u are wrong**

 

**Daehwi: i am never wrong**

 

No, Daehwi has to be wrong this time. 

 

> Daehwi told him something yesterday, when Woojin was running around the track during the gym period and Jihoon and Daehwi were dying like flopping fishes on the sideline. Woojin had just came to steal Jihoon's towel with the excuse that he was sweating more, which makes no sense because he knows Jihoon tends to sweat like a whore in church, but anyway, Jihoon was tower-less and wiping at his face with his shirt and sitting spread-legged on the ground with Daehwi next to him when Daehwi turned to him and said. "You know Woojin likes you, right?"
> 
>  
> 
> "Of course he does." Jihoon had replied easily. "I am his only friend."
> 
>  
> 
> "No, dumbo. I mean, he likes you in a romantic way. Like he wants to hold your hand and call you baby."
> 
>  
> 
> "Woojin does not want to call me baby." Jihoon said dumbly. "Where did you even get that idea?"
> 
>  
> 
> Daehwi just gulped down from his water bottle before answering. "I always thought he was with Doyeon because she asked. It seems like he finally broke it off with her when he figured himself out."
> 
>  
> 
> "You watch too much chick flicks." Jihoon shook his head. "And that's coming from me."
> 
>  
> 
> "Exactly, you watch all those movies and yet you can't realize the most cliche plot point of chick flick movies: your best friend falling in love with you. Sally Albright would be ashamed of you."
> 
>  
> 
> "Don't bring Sally Albright sunbaenim into your nonsense." Jihoon said and got up as Woojin waved him over from the court.
> 
>  
> 
> "It is not nonsense." Daehwi scoffed. "You take your time and think about it."
> 
>  
> 
> "There's nothing to think about," Jihoon yelled back and headed towards Woojin.
> 
>  
> 
> "What's he asking you to think about?" Woojin asked. He must have heard Jihoon shouting back at Daehwi.
> 
>  
> 
> "Some nonsense." Jihoon shook his head. "What do you want?"
> 
>  
> 
> "You have two more laps to go."
> 
>  
> 
> "Screw off," Jihoon grumbled. "Even Mr. Lee doesn't care." He said, and pointed towards their gym teacher who is lounging near the entrance, stuck to his phone.
> 
>  
> 
> "But I do." Woojin smirked. "Do it or I am telling you on Mr. Lee."
> 
>  
> 
> "Urgh. Why do you hate me so much?" Jihoon complained but bent down to tighten his shoelaces.
> 
>  
> 
> "Run, Jihoon." Woojin laughed and smacked him in the butt with Jihoon's own towel. "Run."
> 
>  
> 
> Jihoon threw him a middle finger and ran.

 

Woojin cannot like Jihoon. They are best friends and are supposed to grow old together and have their kids call each other 'uncle' if Korea has gay marriage legalized by the time Jihoon turns 28. Jihoon has it all figured out, from his best man speech at Woojin's wedding to the apartment complex their two families are going to live together in. It is like, against the laws of physics or something. Woojin cannot be into him and he cannot be into Woojin.

 

So, why does it feel like the laws of physics have been fucking with him this whole day?

 

* * *

 

"Woojin?"

 

Mrs. Park asks as Jihoon keys in the code to Woojin's apartment and steps inside.

 

"He went out for coffee with a friend. He'll be here soon."

 

"He has friends outside of you?" Mrs. Park raised an eyebrow and Jihoon laughs.

 

"That's mean, mum!" Yerim says from where she is watching cartoons in the living room. "Woojin also has Daehwi. And Jinyoung, and that pretty girl."

 

Yerim has always been too pure for this world. Jihoon does not know how she is related to Woojin.

 

"I am gonna go wait for him in his room." He tells Mrs. Park and heads towards Woojin's bedroom.

 

"Any chance I can rope you into cleaning it for him?" Mrs. Park calls after him and Jihoon gives her a solid nope.

 

Woojin's room is not even that messy. Still, Jihoon puts all the dirty clothes piled at the end of his bed into the laundry basket and puts all the hair spray and cologne bottles on his dresser together in one corner so that it no longer looks like the aftermath of a hurricane. A 17-year-old Jihoon and Woojin grin at him from the wall next to Woojin's dresser and Jihoon scans his eyes over the years-old photo. Woojin does not like putting up any kind of photo or decoration in his room - he does not even have a single poster like a regular teenager - so Jihoon strong-armed him into putting this one photo up (he had to literally strong arm Woojin by holding him with one arm while slapping the super-glue coated photo onto the wall, which is why it is a little slanted).

 

Jihoon absentmindedly pulls out the drawers on Woojin's dresser despite exactly knowing which drawer has what content. He is not sure what he is looking for, if he is even looking for something. Maybe some kind of diary where Woojin had scribbled _Woojin ♥  Jihoon_ all over, but the only things he finds are some empty candy wrappers. Jihoon just groans and throws them into the waste basket. When he turns back to close the drawer, he notices a little plain black box that he hasn't seen before, so he just grabs and opens it without thinking, only to see a stack of condoms. Jihoon's face immediately heats up and he hurriedly throws them back to where they were. 

 

Woojin is having sex. His Woojin - the dude who still farts on him and who still jumps over the rain puddles on the street - that Woojin is having sex. 

 

Jihoon shouldn't be that surprised, he guesses. After all, what is he expecting Woojin and Doyeon to do together? (Snuggle and maybe just hold hands, actually).

 

Woojin didn't even tell him. 

 

"Jihoon!" Yerim knocks on the door and calls so Jihoon jumps a little, making sure the condom drawer (great, now he is never going to be able to stop thinking about it as the condom drawer) is closed before opening the door. "Mom said you can eat dinner if you want now."

 

"I'll wait for your brother first, princess." Jihoon says and tugs at her braids. "I'm not hungry."

 

"Are you not eating dinner with us?" Yerim blinks her wide eyes and sometimes, she looks so much like Woojin that Jihoon has to wonder if Woojin had looked this cute when he was 7.

 

"No, I'll eat when Woojin comes back."

 

That apparently satisfies her because she nods happily. "Woojin will be sad if you don't eat a lot."

 

"I doubt it." Jihoon laughs. "He can eat more if I don't eat a lot."

 

"No, really." Yerim insists earnestly. "He even got up very early to buy the snails. I wanted to go with him to the market but I am still not allowed to ride on his bicycle."

 

"It's called a motorcycle." Jihoon corrects her. "Woojin bought the snails?"

 

"Yeah, he said you wanted to eat them. Can you tell him you want to eat cotton candy next time? I want to eat cotton candies but mom won't let me eat a lot."

 

"Yeah, sure." Jihoon nods distractedly but Yerim gives him a wide grin, apparently satisfied and bounces off. Jihoon did mention to Woojin in passing that he has been wanting to eat snails but that was when he was just hungry and listing down what he wants to eat. He didn't think Woojin would have actually taken note. 

 

It is nothing new, Woojin taking care of him. Despite being younger than him, Woojin is born to be the older brother even before Yerim was born, he is just that kind of person who always takes care of other people like it is his second nature. Jihoon never really questions it because that is the Woojin he knows, the small sour-faced kid who gave Jihoon his milk on the first day of primary school because Jihoon spilled his. He knows that Woojin always spoils him, does whatever Jihoon wants to but he has never thought much about it because it is what Jihoon is used to: the earth is round and Woojin is his person. 

 

But Jihoon wonders how much he actually  _knows_ about Woojin. He doesn't even know that Woojin has lost his virginity because you can bet your house that Jihoon would have told Woojin if it has been Jihoon's. He didn't even know that Woojin wanted to break up with Doyeon. Hell, he doesn't even know why or how much Woojin liked Doyeon. Woojin had never really told Jihoon anything about his relationship or crushes - it is always Jihoon telling him Daniel this and Daniel that, and suddenly, Jihoon is starting to feel like that is not fair, even though he is not quiet sure who the unfair party is. 

 

* * *

 

 

Jihoon must have fallen asleep because he woke up to Woojin shaking at his shoulder.  "You are going to get a headache if you sleep now."

 

"I am gonna have to stay up late to send my parents off anyway." Jihoon groans and rubs at his eyes before realising that he still has his contacts in. "Ah fuck."

 

"Tsk," Woojin clucks his tongue. "Your eyes are all red, you idiot. C'mon. I'll take them out."

 

Jihoon groans and follows Woojin into the attached bathroom. 

 

"Who put them in this morning?" Woojin asks, lifting up Jihoon's chin with his knuckles.

 

"I ... " Jihoon says. "I asked Ms. Ha."

 

"Really?"

 

"Yeah, didn't want to interrupt you when you were at rehearsal." Jihoon lies.

 

"Yeah, I'd have killed you." Woojin scoffs. "The rehearsal this morning was brutal, man. Youngmin hyung caught a cold so we had to rearrange the formation like four hours before the show starts. We couldn't even stop for lunch."

 

"Right, didn't you say you were starving?" Jihoon asks and hands Woojin the lenses container to put his contacts in. "Let's go and eat."

 

"I ate some brownies with Doyeon. I couldn't wait. My stomach was literally collapsing on itself from hunger." Woojin says. "Hold on. I think I put one of your old glasses here somewhere."

 

Woojin goes back into his bedroom and Jihoon follows him to see his head buried inside his drawer.

 

"Hah, yeah. I knew I had it here somewhere." Woojin says triumphantly and pulls out one of Jihoon's very old glasses that Jihoon had probably left here when he was sleeping over. It is actually one of his very old ones - the frames are this neon yellow plastic and Jihoon really didn't know what he was thinking back then; he is starting to understand Daehwi's frustration with his everything. 

 

"Do I have to wear those?" Jihoon groans. "I can just put my contacts back in."

 

"No, your eyes are already blood red. Just put the damn thing on. It's just me."

 

Jihoon sulks but takes the glasses that Woojin is shoving into his chest and puts them on. Woojin lets out a laugh and Jihoon smacks him in the forearm. "Shut the fuck up."

 

"I didn't say anything!" Woojin grins.

 

"No, but your face says plenty." Jihoon rolls his eyes and watches Woojin change into his home wear. It is something Jihoon had seen countless number of times, but for some reason today, he starts to feel the heat rising in his cheeks when Woojin takes off his jeans and walks around the room in his boxer before putting his sweatpants on. 

 

"What did Doyeon say?" Jihoon asks in lieu of a distraction because Woojin is still very much shirtless and yes, Jihoon did know that Woojin has abs, but he has never equated Woojin with anything sex-related, and now that that idea is somehow in his head, Jihoon cannot get it out. 

 

Woojin does not answer back in a while so Jihoon asks again.  "Dude, did you hear me? What did ..."

 

"She asked me if we can get back together."

 

"Oh," Jihoon mutters. So, he was right, but he doesn't really feel that satisfaction like he does a lot of times when he is right. "What did you tell her?"

 

"I told her I'd think about it."

 

"Why?" Jihoon blurts out before he can stop himself. "I mean, didn't you break up with her in the first place? Why would you want to get back with her?"

 

"It seems rude to refuse her on the spot." Woojin scratches at his head. "Plus, I don't want to make her cry again."

 

"You're just giving her false hope then." Jihoon says. 

 

"Should I not get back together with her?" Woojin suddenly turns to face him, and asks. The earnestness in his eyes knocks Jihoon off his feet a little bit, to be honest and Jihoon suddenly loses his words. 

 

"I..." Jihoon swallows roughly. "Why are you asking me that?"

 

"Who else am I gonna ask?" Woojin shrugs. "Should I get back with her, Jihoon?"

 

Jihoon stands up, suddenly feeling the heat in the room to be unbearable. "Do whatever you want, man. It's your relationship. C'mon, let's eat dinner. I'm hungry." 

 

Jihoon does not need to look back at Woojin to know that he is staring at Jihoon because he can somehow feels the intensity of Woojin's eyes on him. But Woojin does not say anything further, and just pushes at Jihoon's waist softly until both of them are out of the room. 


	8. A Walk to Remember

"You didn't bring your helmet, right?" Woojin asks as Jihoon finishes washing up his bowl. "I have an extra helmet somewhere. Hang on."

 

"No, it's fine." Jihoon calls to him before Woojin can get out of the kitchen, and Woojin looks back at him in curiosity. "I think I'll just walk."

 

"It's a 40 minute walk." Woojin says slowly. "And it is freezing outside, and also, you would willingly use your legs for something else other than kicking me?"

 

"I exercise!" Jihoon protests. "And I feel like going for a walk."

 

"Let me get my coat then." Woojin mutters. "And heat packs."

 

"I want to be alone." Jihoon blurts out and Woojin looks at him strangely.

 

"Be alone with me then." He says decisively and leaves the kitchen before Jihoon can argue. "Mom! I am walking Jihoon back."

 

* * *

 

"You really didn't have to come." Jihoon sighs as Woojin, bundled in a coat and a beanie and a scarf because Mrs. Park worries a lot, walks alongside him through the brightly lit and narrow street. "I've walked these streets a thousands times."

 

Woojin shrugs in response. "Are you alright? You look like you are out of it."

 

"I am fine." Jihoon mumbles. "I just ... there's a lot going on in my head today."

 

"College?" Woojin asks and Jihoon gives a slight nod.

 

"Partly, yes."

 

"I told you not to worry too much." Woojin says. "Just wait a little more."

 

"Ok," Jihoon nods and kicks at a small stone on the road. Everyone keeps telling him to wait but nobody seems to get that the wait is what is killing him.

 

Woojin sighs. "Fine. I'll leave you alone. Just pretend I am not here."

 

Jihoon looks over at him to see him putting in his earphone and scrolling through his phone. Jihoon thinks for about a second before taking one of the earpiece out of Woojin's ear and plugging into his own. Music might actually distract him for a little bit.

 

Eminem immediately yells into his ear and Jihoon winces a little before turning to Woojin. "Dude, you know I respect your hard-on for Eminem but can you please play something that suits the mood?"

 

"What mood?" Woojin mutters but changes the music to something a little more chilled.

 

Jihoon walks in silence, the only noise he hears is from the music in his one ear and the night traffic. He sneaks a glance at Woojin who is bopping his head rhythmically to the music and throwing his heat pack from hand to hand because he is never the type to stay still.

 

"You didn't tell me you had sex." Jihoon says when the song ends and only the silence of the night is left. Woojin turns to look at him in question and Jihoon suddenly wonders if this is too much, if he has crossed some line that he was not supposed to cross, and he hates this. He hates having to second guess himself when it comes to Woojin of all people.

 

"How'd you know?" Woojin just asks after a while although Jihoon was sort of wishing that Woojin would just laugh it off or deny.

 

"I saw the condoms in your drawer." Jihoon says. "Sorry, I wasn't snooping around or anything. Just came across them."

 

"Well, yeah." Woojin fumbles with his beanie a little bit and says.

 

"You didn't tell me." Jihoon says and wishes it didn't come out as childish as it actually was.

 

Woojin gives him a strange look. "It's not just about me, dude. It's about Doyeon also. Do you think I'm the type of douchebag who would brag about having sex?"

 

"I don't mean it like that." Jihoon retorts back. "And it's not about bragging or Doyeon or whatever. It's about you, and me. I'd have told you if I had lost my virginity."

 

"Yeah, we all know you are a virgin." Woojin laughs and Jihoon's face heats up. "No need to announce it to me."

 

"Fuck you," Jihoon kicks the bundles of stray leaves on the ground at Woojin's calves. "I am being serious."

 

"I am not gonna apologise to you for not reporting to you about my sex life." Woojin rolls his eyes.

 

"I didn't say anything about apologising." Jihoon mumbles. "I just wish ... you'd tell me things. Like how I told you about Daniel and everything in my life."

 

"You gonna tell me what's bothering you today then?" Woojin asks and Jihoon thinks for a while before poking his tongue at him. 

 

"No, suffer."

 

Woojin just snorts, and goes back to his phone to pick another song. Jihoon takes off his earpiece and puts it back into Woojin's ear before tightening the scarf around his neck that Mrs. Park insisted he wore because it is colder tonight. He wonders if mom was still around, fussing over Jihoon like Mrs. Park with Woojin or like Ms. Ha with Sungwoon, Jihoon would be able to tell her things, things like how Jihoon is suddenly feeling like he never really liked the the only boy he had ever liked all through his life or how scary it is that Jihoon cannot trust his own heart or why he has never noticed how warm it is to have Woojin next to him. Jihoon turns his head to look at Woojin and Woojin must have felt the weight of Jihoon's eyes on his because he turns to meet Jihoon's eyes, mouthing a  _what._

 

"I miss her," Jihoon says and Woojin takes off his earphones.

 

"What did you say?"

 

"I miss her," Jihoon repeats himself. "Mom. I miss her."

 

Woojin stares at him wordlessly before pulling Jihoon by the arm and his hands are already around Jihoon's waist, heavy and solid. Jihoon just sighs and buries his head into Woojin's shoulder, the faux far from Woojin's hoodie tickling his ears and Woojin's warm palm rubbing circles into his back. Jihoon hugs him a little tighter. Whatever he is too Woojin or whatever Woojin is to him, he is glad, just so glad, that Woojin is at least here, and has always been here.

 

* * *

 

 

"You want me to sleep over?" Woojin asks when they eventually turns into Jihoon's street.

 

"Nah," Jihoon shakes his head. "I am going to airport at 3 to send the folks off. I know early flights are cheaper but 3 AM is way too much."

 

"Alright," Woojin nods. "I am going ice skating with Yerim tomorrow. Come along."

 

"I can't even ice skate."

 

"So? I'll teach you. I am teaching Yerim anyway, and let's be real, you are probably on the same level as her."

 

"You overestimate me way too much." Jihoon purses his lips and says. Woojin laughs.

 

"You alright now?"

 

"Yeah, whatever." Jihoon shrugs. 

 

"If you say so," Woojin says and squeezes his hand. They had been walking hand in hand since Jihoon lets himself out of Woojin's arms earlier, and if it is strange for Woojin, he didn't mention. "I'll pick you up after lunch."

 

"Fine," Jihoon says. It might do him some good to get out of the house anyway. 

 

"Ermm.." Woojin suddenly says, pulling on his hand. "Let's ... not go in now?"

 

"Huh?" Jihoon blinks in confusion. "Why?"

 

"It's just ..." Woojin looks a little flustered and Jihoon looks at where Woojin's eyes are trying to avoid. It is Sungwoon and Daniel, leaning against Sungwoon's car parked in the driveway and kissing, no scratch that, that is already in making-out territory, not just kissing. 

 

"There are children around!" Jihoon yells at them, and Daniel legit jumps before pulling himself off of Sungwoon and from the looks of the things, it seems like Daniel bumped his chin into Sungwoon's nose bridge. 

 

Serve them right.

 

"The only child I see around is you." Woojin scoffs and drops Jihoon's hand. "I am gonna take the bus back. Way too much physical activities for me today."

 

Jihoon almost forgot Woojin has been dancing since early morning as well.

 

"I told you to not come." He frowns. "Make sure to put some salonpas before you go to bed."

 

"Yes, sir." Woojin grins and gives him a mock salute before waving at Daniel and Sungwoon and taking off. 

 

"Hey, Jihoon." Daniel greets him, almost shyly and Jihoon rolls his eyes. 

 

"You two are gross." He mumbles and Daniel grins at him before saying goodnight to both of them.

 

"Gross, and lame." Jihoon says to Sungwoon as they head into the house. "Did he really just come along all the way to say good night at the door and then go back?"

 

Sungwoon turns at him. "Didn't Woojin just do the same for you?" He says flatly before going into the house, and fuck if that doesn't suddenly make Jihoon's heart skip a little bit.

 

* * *

 

“Nice glasses,” dad says when Jihoon comes out of his room to get some water. Jihoon even forgot he is still wearing those neon bright glasses.

 

“Urgh,” he groans. “This is on you. You should have stopped me getting these ugly things as my father.”

 

Dad scoffs. “As if you’d have ever listened to me.”

 

Jihoon pouts and eyes the luggage in Dad’s hand. “You are only packing now? Your flight is in what? Six hours?”

 

“Where do you think you get the procrastination genes from?” Dad grins. “C’mon. Help your old man pack.”

 

“You got zero right to scold me if I am behind on school work.” Jihoon says and follows him into the master bedroom.

 

“You are behind on school work?” Dad turns and asks in serious eyebrows.

 

“No, I am better than you.” Jihoon pokes his tongue and says. Dad just laughs and throws the luggage in his hand onto the bed. “Where’s Ms. Ha?”

 

“She’s still out. Privilege of having packed so early.” Dad says and waves towards the corner of the room where Ms. Ha’s red suitcase is standing. There is even a travel pillow hanging on its handle.

 

“I don’t know what she sees in you.” Jihoon says and takes the pile of clothes dad is handing him to put into the luggage.

 

“Neither do I.” Dad laughs and Jihoon feels like, once again, he is just being surrounded by people in too much love while he is a mile late behind everyone, still figuring out what love even is.

 

Dad is still pulling out his clothes from the wardrobe and Jihoon goes into the washroom to get some medicine from the bathroom cabinet, mostly digestive enzyme tablets because dad always tends to get an upset stomach when he has seafood but he still does it because he and Jihoon share the ‘we-die-like-men’ mentality that has never really worked out well for any of them.

 

“The university letters did not come this week either.” Jihoon mumbles softly as he shoves the tablets into the luggage.

 

“Maybe they will come next week.” Dad replies.

 

“What if they don’t?” Jihoon asks. “What if they never come because I don’t get into any school?”

 

“Well, then, I guess I will just shave your head and send you off to army.”

 

“Dadddd…” Jihoon whines.

 

“I am kidding,” dad laughs before running his fingers through Jihoon’s hair. “Well, if you don’t get into any school, we will see what are your options and go with it.”

 

“You are only saying that because you still have some hope that I’d get in.” Jihoon frowns. “If I don’t, then, it’s gonna be disappointment and anger and tears.”

 

“Well, I do have a lot of expectations from you, kid.” Dad says. “But that’s only because I can’t help it. I am the dad, I am hardwired to think my kid is the best.”

 

“I am not the best.” Jihoon murmurs. “Do you … do you ever get upset that I am not as smart as Sungwoon. Or as good of a son as Woojin is?”

 

“No,” dad replies, so quickly in fact that Jihoon turns to look at him. “I never even thought you are any less smart than Sungwoon or any less good than Woojin.”

 

Jihoon looks down and plays with the zipper on the luggage.

 

“I mean, they are both great kids and I love Sungwoon too. My heart is big enough to love all of you, but just between you and me, you are just a little bit more special.”

 

Jihoon tries to fight the smile forming on his face to no avail. “I’d better be.”

 

“Oh, wait, my sunscreen.” Dad suddenly exclaims and goes into the bathroom. Jihoon hurriedly lifts his glasses and presses his knuckles into his eyes so that the tears that are starting to form are no longer there.

 

“I can’t wait to get a whole week of sun.” Dad says, coming back with a sunscreen bottle that can probably last him for a good year.

 

“I can’t believe you’d just go off to a beach like that and leave your child here in this harsh winter to fend for himself.” Jihoon grumbles. “That should be the ground for some kind of emotional abuse.”

 

“Look up the number for child protection service on Naver.”

 

“Don’t think I wouldn’t!”

 

* * *

 

 


	9. Never Been Kissed

Jihoon spends half of Sunday at the ice skating rink with Woojin and Yerim. Woojin, as always, is the World’s Best OppaTM ,making sure Yerim has all her coats and knee pads and elbow pads and helmet on before tirelessly circling with her across the rink while Jihoon sips on his hot chocolate from the warm bench and watches them over.

 

Woojin finally puts Yerim in the playpen, afraid that she’ll actually have bruises the next day from the way she kept falling. Yerim protests wildly because while she might be the purest kid in the world, she is stubborn and relentless as hell because she is still Park Woojin’s sister. Jihoon finally lures her with the promise of illicit cotton candy before dinner for her to finally give in and dives into the ball pit.

 

“Your turn, c’mon.” Woojin pats at his back and says.

 

“But my hot chocolate!” Jihoon whines. “How are you not tired out yet?”

 

“I slept in until noon.” Woojin says and bounces a little. “I can, like, wrestle an elephant right now. C’mon, you even rented the skates. Don’t waste money.”

 

Jihoon groans and pokes his feet into the abandoned skates he had rented earlier. Woojin sits down in front of him and pats at the space in between his spread legs.

 

“Put your legs here and finish your hot chocolate.”

 

Jihoon hesitantly put his skated feet onto the bench where Woojin has patted and Woojin immediately goes on to tie the laces.

 

“I can tie my own shoes.” Jihoon protests, looking around to see if anyone is paying attention to them. No one is, but Jihoon is starting to feel hot under the collar.

 

“Just finish your overpriced drink.” Woojin replies and moves on to the other shoe. “You are gonna need the energy later.”

 

Jihoon really does.

 

He has about absolute zero on the scale when it comes to the sense of balance, so it gets a hundred times worse on ice.

 

“A hundred times into zero is still zero.” Woojin scoffs when Jihoon told him this. “Cannot ice skate. Cannot do math.”

 

“But I can still kick your fucking ass.” Jihoon grits out. “Just wait until we are off this slippery surface of hell.”

 

Woojin laughs. “I am gonna let go now.”

 

“No!” Jihoon immediately tightens his fingers around Woojin.

 

“Dude, even Yerim tried on her own. C’mon. I am just here.”

 

“No,” Jihoon shakes his head. “Don’t let go of me.”

 

“Jihoon..” Woojin sighs.

 

“Woojin,” Jihoon says back, and intertwines his gloved fingers with Woojin’s. “Don’t let go.”

 

“Ok,” Woojin nods, his fingers locked into place with Jihoon’s. “Ok. I won’t.”

 

* * *

 

Woojin comes over on Monday morning before school and sleepily hands over Jihoon's contact case to him. "You forgot it at our house on Saturday."

 

"No wonder I couldn't find it." Jihoon mumbles and grabs at his backpack. "I don't feel like putting them in today though."

 

"Really?" Woojin asks, barely stifling a yawn. 

 

"Yeah, I was wearing my glasses over the weekend anyway." Jihoon shrugs.

 

"At least they are not those ugly yellow ones." Woojin murmurs. "No breakfast today, I assume?"

 

"No one around to make breakfast." Jihoon says. "Let's go a little early to school and eat breakfast at cafeteria."

 

"Sure," Woojin nods and stretches. "Let's go then."

 

They run into Sungwoon in the living room, hair messy and clutching at a coffee mug that is twice the size of his hands. 

 

"Morning." Woojin greets him first. "You are up early."

 

"Oh no," Sungwoon blinks. "I hadn't gone to bed yet. I have a paper due tomorrow."

 

"Jesus," Jihoon groans. "Try not to burn down the house making coffee."

 

"No promises," Sungwoon replies. "Oh hey, by the way, I am thinking of having a party this Friday."

 

"Party?" Jihoon asks, suddenly interested. 

 

"Yeah, downside of living rent-free is no hosting parties." Sungwoon grins. "I am thinking of inviting over a few of my friends from college."

 

"I am gonna tell dad," Jihoon says and Sungwoon looks a little scared. "Unless me and Woojin are invited and there is alcohol."

 

Sungwoon furrows his eyebrows at him. "Well, you live here, and so does Woojin half the time so you are both already invited anyway."

 

"And?" Jihoon folds his arms and smirks.

 

"Fine. You two get a soju bottle, but only one for the both of you."

 

"Score." Woojin giggles and gives Jihoon a high-five. "Looking forward to it, hyung."

 

"Urgh, get lost." Sungwoon groans. "You bloody teenagers."

 

* * *

 

The week passes by both slowly and quickly at once even though Jihoon does not feel like that is possible. It seems to be passing quickly when he stays and watches Netflix in the living room up until ungodly hours with no one around to scold him, but it seems to be passing slowly when Jihoon is standing dejectedly in front of the mailbox, staring at the few envelopes that bear no University logo on them, putting a little less hope each day that  _maybe tomorrow._

 

Despite his hopes being killed off bit by bit every morning, when Friday night rolls around, Jihoon is almost as excited as Sungwoon about his party because it is a bona fide college party, right here in his space and where else is he going to get this kind of experience from? 

 

So, of course, the universe has to throw him a curveball and makes Sungwoon host probably the most boring college party ever. Jihoon had been to raunchier parties when he was 14.

 

"Is this a college party or a retirement home?" He complains to Daniel who is nursing a beer in the kitchen after he got up from the UNO table. Seriously, UNO.

 

"It's just a hang out." Daniel laughs. "All of us were so busy with midterms and project deadlines. We just want to chill out a bit, and eat something that is not instant ramen."

 

"Ergh. You are such a bad role model." Jihoon groans. "You should be teaching me how to live that college lifestyle."

 

"You mean the lifestyle of living off on ramen and coffee until your hair starts to fall off from either too much caffeiene or from stress?"

 

"Yeah, you do seem to be balding." Jihoon nods seriously and Daniel swats at him with an offended  _watch it!_

 

"Seongwoo and Minhyun are bringing the alcohol." Daniel says. "If that's any consolation. I heard Sungwoon bribed you with a soju bottle."

 

"Well, that does console me a bit." Jihoon laughs. 

 

* * *

 

"You are flushing," Woojin giggles nosily. Jihoon has no idea how he manages to giggle with so much noise but somehow he did. "Dude, don't tell me you have the alcohol flush? That'd suck balls."

 

"I do not!" Jihoon says petulantly even though he can see his face getting redder in the mirror hanging on the living room. 

 

"Yo, Woojin!" Jihoon cranes his neck to see Taehyun grinning at them.

 

"Hyung!" Woojin jumps up with a wide smile and gives Taehyun a bro-hug. "Long time. I haven't seen you come to studio even once in the past few months."

 

"College was a mistake." Taehyun says seriously and Jihoon scoffs. People don't appreciate what they have, really. 

 

"You two ... hang out or whatever." Jihoon says, getting up from where he is sitting cross-legged on the living room floor. "I am gonna go ice my face."

 

Woojin laughs after him.

 

About five or six people are crowded around the kitchen island, including Daniel when Jihoon gets into the kitchen. 

 

"What are you guys doing?" Jihoon asks and opens the fridge to take out one of the ice packs that Sungwoon got for chilling the wine bottles. 

 

"Hey, Sungwoon's brother." The waiter from that restaurant, Jaehwan something, nods at him. "You wanna join?"

 

"Let's not kill the kid before he even graduates high school." Daniel says as Jihoon rubs the ice pack over his face and peers over Daniel's shoulder.

 

"What is it?"

 

"We are playing bluff." One of Sungwoon's friends, whose name Jihoon has forgotten, raises the deck of cards he is shuffling and says. "We are playing last man down, so whoever wins first will leave the game and put anything he wants from this kitchen into this soju bomb. And the last loser has to drink it or do a dare."

 

Suddenly, Jihoon is very glad he doesn't know how to play bluff. 

 

But still, it seems like a fun game so he stays around to watch. Jaehwan is the first winner and he gives a high pitched victory laugh before triumphantly throwing in a spoonful of soy sauce into the soju bomb glass in the middle of the island. Everyone, including even Jihoon, grimaces. 

 

The game goes on and with every winner, the glass gets more and more disgusting. From what Jihoon remembers there were some gojuchang, a couple drops of tabasco and a raw egg. 

 

Daniel and Minhyun are the last ones down and both of them look at the glass filled with mud-coloured liquid like the gate to Armageddon before Minhyun clears his throat and puts down the only two cards left in his hands. "Two Aces."

 

"That's a fucking dumbass move." Daniel scoffs. "I call bluff." He says and reaches to turn them over, and immediately loses blood in his face as two Ace cards come up.

 

"My man," Jihoon says in sympathy. "You are fucked."

 

Minhyun is doing some sort of weird celebratory dance moves while Jaehwan starts chanting Daniel's name and pushes the glasses closer to him. Daniel leans down to sniff at it and immediately convulses like he is throwing up in his mouth.

 

"Dare." Daniel yells. "I choose dare. Fuck this."

 

"Dude," Jaehwan says. "Don't be a pussy."

 

"No, I'll be whatever I want. I choose dare."

 

"I dare you to strip naked and run around the house." One of his friends pipes in and Jihoon almost drops his ice pack.

 

"Sungwoon!" Daniel yells into the living room. "Seongwoo is asking me to strip!"

 

Sungwoon pokes his head into the kitchen. "Ong Seongwoo. What did I say about nudity at my house?"

 

"That it is not allowed." Seongwoo grumbles. "Fine then," he says, a scary glint slowly forming in his eyes. "I dare you to kiss someone at this party who is not Sungwoon. Either that or drink this shit."

 

Daniel grimaces.

 

"Perfect time to prove your undying love to Sungwoon, Daniel." Minhyun laughs. 

 

"Jesus, what the hell is in that thing?" Sungwoon frowns and pokes at the glass. "What are these yellow bits?"

 

"Yolk." Daniel says dejectedly. "Or mustard. I don't know. Both of them are inside."

 

"My god," Sungwoon shudders. "Niel, just kiss someone and then nuke that abomination. I'd understand."

 

"Oh ho," Jaehwan claps his hands before taking out his phone from his pocket. "This is going onto the group chat."

 

"Jihoon," Daniel suddenly calls and Jihoon blinks dumbly, suddenly woken up from watching the whole thing goes down like a stupid sitcom. 

 

"What?"

 

"Can I kiss you?"

 

"What?"

 

"Dude," Jaehwan complains in the background. "I can't take video of you kissing Sungwoon's underage brother. That's creepy."

 

"Can I?" Daniel asks again, this time a little more desperate and Jihoon looks around the kitchen dumbly. Sungwoon looks amused. Well, Jihoon is glad at least one of them finds this funny.

 

"Erm, ok?" Jihoon says dumbly. "I guess?"

 

"Thank you, thank you." Daniel cries before cupping Jihoon's cheeks and planting a dry, barely-there kiss on Jihoon's lips, and it gets over within that split second. "I am done. Dare completed."

 

Jihoon scratches at his head in confusion as Daniel puts on dishwashing rubber gloves to pick up the soju glass of doom to throw in the trash. 

 

That was ... that was Jihoon's first kiss.

 

And it was with the same person that Jihoon had imagined multiple times over the span of his puberty but somehow, it feels wrong. 

 

Jihoon suddenly just wants to see Woojin's face.


	10. Sleepless in Seoul

Jihoon finds Woojin outside in the cold, leaning against the wall of the house with Taehyun besides him, a cigarette in each of their hands. Jihoon does not even know Woojin smokes, and he puts it down as more one things Park Jihoon does not know about Park Woojin.

 

Woojin immediately drops his half gone cigarette onto the ground and smashes it with the tip of his shoes when he notices Jihoon coming towards him.

 

Taehyun scoffs. "I didn't know Jihoon was your mom."

 

Woojin turns to glare at him.

 

"Come with me for a while." Jihoon extends his hand and asks.

 

"Am I gonna get my ass whooped?" Woojin blinks. "That was my first cigarette and it is all on Taehyun hyung. He insisted."

 

"Fuck you, Woojin."

 

"No, I," Jihoon shakes his head. ".. I want to take my lenses out. Come help."

 

Taehyun looks at the two of them puzzledly, but Woojin grabs his hand and follows Jihoon inside so that's what matters.

 

* * *

 

"Do your eyes hurt or something?" Woojin asks as he follows Jihoon into Jihoon's bedroom and pushes him down onto the bed. "Let me see."

 

"You smell like smoke." Jihoon wrinkles his nose and says.

 

"Shit, yeah." Woojin jumps a little before running out of the room. "Hang on."

 

Jihoon just sighs and sits cross-legged on the bed, fingers playing at the loose thread on his blanket. He does not even know why he lied to Woojin - he just knows that he wanted to be alone with Woojin, to do what - he is not exactly sure, but Woojin comes back into the room, smelling at his hands and Jihoon feels like suddenly the world makes sense again.

 

"It still smells a tiny little bit like smoke." Woojin says sheepishly and holds his fingers under Jihoon's nose. "I can't seem to get rid of it. Sorry."

 

"Your mom's gonna freak out if she smells that on you."

 

"Yeah," Woojin grimaces. "Lend me some clothes when I go home. Mom will literally slice my neck if she found out."

 

"Should have thought of that before you smoke." Jihoon scoffs and Woojin pouts before pulling a stool to sit in front of Jihoon.

 

Jihoon automatically lifts his head, already familiar with the routine so Woojin can hold his face in one hand and takes out the lenses with the other. It does not even take a minute now and Jihoon wonders why Woojin does not insist on Jihoon doing it by himself anymore.

 

"Daniel kissed me." Jihoon says as Woojin gets up put his contact case on Jihoon's dresser. "Just now."

 

Jihoon does not think he is imagining things when Woojin's back suddenly stiffens before he speaks. "So, what? He's not with Sungwoon now?"

 

"No, not like that." Jihoon murmurs. "He was dared to kiss someone who is not Sungwoon and he probably thought I'd be the least problematic one to kiss."

 

"His boyfriend's underage brother is his best choice, really?" Woojin scoffs.

 

"It wasn't serious." Jihoon says. "It was like watching you kiss Yerim. It was all _oh you are such a cute little kid_ kind of kiss."

 

"You sound serious though." Woojin turns and says, leaning against Jihoon's dresser.

 

"Yeah, well," Jihoon sighs. "It was my first kiss."

 

"Was it everything you imagined?" Woojin asks. "I remember all the times you were waxing poetics about the various visions you've had in your head about your first kiss."

 

"Not even close." Jihoon laughs.

 

"I am sorry."

 

"It is ... " Jihoon starts. "I don't think I am disappointed because he didn't kiss me in the way I wanted my first kiss to be. Maybe I am feeling like it is all wrong because ... because he is not the one I actually wanted to have my first kiss with."

 

"Jihoon," Woojin says, surprise coloring his voice. "You've liked him for years."

 

"Yeah, funny, isn't it?" Jihoon scoffs. "Lately, it doesn't feel like that anymore. Someone told me the other day that sometimes, what you think you want and what you actually want are not the same thing."

 

"And what do you actually want?"

 

"Is it messed up that I am not sure?" Jihoon looks at him and asks.

 

"Maybe but you've always been a messed up kid."

 

"Shut up," Jihoon rolls his eyes.

 

"Listen," Woojin says and comes over to sit down next to Jihoon on the bed. "Don't stress out too much over it being your first kiss. I don't know why we put so much stress on all the firsts."

 

"Because all your first times are supposed to be special!" Jihoon argues.

 

"No, it will be special when you do the things you want with the person you want." Woojin argues back. "You know how my first time was like? Awkward and uncomfortable."

 

"That bad, huh?"

 

"It wasn't bad." Woojin says and leans back until he is lying flat on the bed horizontally. "It's just ... like the final nail in the coffin, you know. That's when I realized I actually didn't like Doyeon like that. I mean, I didn't break up with her just then because what kind of ass breaks up with a girl right after sex but I knew it back then. That she is not what I want."

 

"What do you want then?" Jihoon looks down at him and asks. "You asked me the same thing, but have you even figured it out yourself?"

 

"Yes." Woojin answers back resolutely, his stare never wavering off of Jihoon and Jihoon feels the shortness of breath in his lungs like the air has suddenly abandoned him.

 

"What do you want?" Jihoon asks again, pulling down Woojin's t-shirt so that it is not ridden up and flashing the silver of skin that has been distracting Jihoon ever since Woojin had lied down. A whiff of burnt smell flares up into Jihoon's nostrils and Jihoon wrinkles his nose. "Your clothes smell bad, by the way."

 

"Yeah," Woojin replies and grabs at Jihoon's hand on his shirt. "I know."

 

"Can you ..." Jihoon says and opens his palm so Woojin can lay his palm over Jihoon's. " .. not smoke any more? I don't like the smell on you."

 

"Ok," Woojin nods easily.

 

"Really?" Jihoon raises an eyebrow. "Just like that?"

 

"Do you think I'd be addicted to nicotine after half a stick?" Woojin replies. "Give me some credits. Plus, you know I'd do anything you'd ask me to."

 

"Anything?" Jihoon asks, and stares into Woojin's eyes.

 

"Anything." Woojin stares back.

 

"Don't get back together with Doyeon." Jihoon blurts out. "I don't want you to see her or with anyone else."

 

Woojin dry swallows and Jihoon traces the movement of his Adam's Apple, mesmerized.

 

"Why?" Woojin asks, his hold on Jihoon's hand tightens. "Jihoon. Give me a good reason why."

 

Jihoon takes the jump.

 

Woojin's lips still have that lingering smell of smoke and Jihoon is bent down in such a way that his waist and his foot squashed under his ass are starting to hurt in their uncomfortable positions, but Jihoon is sure that all those times he had imagined his first kiss; with all the fireworks and 80's movie soundtracks and butterflies fluttering around - all those times do not hold a candle to this. They don't even come close.

 

* * *

 

"Daehwi said you like me." Jihoon says into Woojin's neck. When he pulled away from Woojin earlier, lips red and heart racing, he just felt too nervous and also slightly embarrassed to look at Woojin's face, so Jihoon ended up just lying down next to Woojin, his face shoved into the crook of Woojin's neck.

 

"He did?" Woojin says into the top of Jihoon's head. His fingers are running gentle tickles across the back of Jihoon's head and Jihoon feels every touch with a weight that he had never associated with Woojin before.

 

"Yeah, he said you want to hold my hand and call me baby."

 

"Well," Woojin says slowly. "Maybe not the baby part."

 

"So, you like me?" Jihoon lifts his head and turns so he is facing Woojin. "Like, a boyfriend kind of liking?"

 

"Yes," Woojin answers, with no hesitation and Jihoon envies the ease that Woojin seems to have with himself.

 

"Why didn't you say anything before?"

 

"You were all over Daniel," Woojin smiles. "When would I get a chance?"

 

"But," Jihoon argues. "You are always so relentless when you really want something. You begged your mom for an entire summer just so she'd let you buy Katana. Why'd you give me up so easily?"

 

"Jihoon," Woojin says and the grip of his hand on the back of Jihoon's head tightens. "You are not just some shiny new toys that I want to buy. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to give you up. If I make you uncomfortable with me in anyway, I know you are just gonna start being distant because you are emotionally constipated. You are worth too much for me to let that happen."

 

Jihoon blinks, feeling his face heat up. Woojin really didn't have to go and say ... all that.

 

"Where did you even learn to smooth talk?" Jihoon mumbles.

 

"Must be all the chick flicks you forced me to watch with you." Woojin grins and brings Jihoon's face closer until they are kissing again, and Jihoon wonders if he will ever get used to this - kissing Woojin and feeling like his heart is about to burst.

 

"Do you like me back?" Woojin whispers into his lips and Jihoon stills a little.

 

"I ... I don't know."

 

Woojin sighs and palms his hand over Jihoon's jaws. "Jihoon, please."

 

"It's just ..." Jihoon pulls his face away. "You know I've been crushing on Daniel for so long and then suddenly there is you and I can't think straight and I am not gonna lie and say you don't make me feel anything, but I .."

 

"You are scared it'd happen with me again," Woojin says. "That you'd stop liking me one day."

 

"Yeah," Jihoon nods. "I can't do that to you and I am terrified."

 

"Me too." Woojin nods and Jihoon can see every ounce of sincerity pouring out from Woojin. "I am scared too."

 

"I'm sorry." Jihoon mumbles.

 

"You are terrible." Woojin smiles. "I don't know why I like you."

 

"My incredibly beautiful face. What else?" Jihoon says lamely but Woojin just laughs and pinches his cheek.

 

Someone starts playing loud music from the living room outside and Woojin cranes his neck at the closed bedroom door. "Sounds like you are going to experience your real college party."

 

Jihoon suddenly doesn't want to. He just wants to keep being here with Woojin, but the noise is too much because the walls to this house are too thin, and Jihoon suddenly remembers that he is not alone with Woojin here despite the locked door separating them with the party outside. "Can I come and stay over at your place tonight?" He asks Woojin.

 

"I told my mom I'd stay over here though."

 

"So what?" Jihoon replies. "Did she confiscate your house keys when you said that? We can still go."

 

"Brat," Woojin says and twists Jihoon's ear before getting up. "Lend me your clothes first though. Dad has a scarily good nose. He'll smell the smoke on me."

 

"Delinquent," Jihoon rolls his eyes but gets up as well to take out something decent for Woojin to change into. 


	11. Brotherhood of the Broken Vase

Everyone at Woojin's house is already asleep when Woojin and Jihoon arrive because it is closing to 1 in the morning. Jihoon follows Woojin in silent steps towards his room and cringes a little when he slams the door a little too loud and Woojin turns to glare at him. They take turn showering, and Jihoon kind of wants to laugh that he is in Woojin's pajamas after showering while Woojin is still wearing Jihoon's clothes that he has changed into at Jihoon's. When Jihoon comes out of the shower, running a towel through his wet hair, he sees Woojin gulping down from the half empty soju bottle from his backpack, the one he managed to grab from the living room before they left.

 

"You like the taste?" He asks Woojin. "I like beer better."

 

"Maybe it'll taste better mixed with beer or with some food." Woojin smacks his lips and says before taking another sip. His lips are wet with the remnants of alcohol and Jihoon leans up to taste them himself. Woojin opens his eyes slowly and stares at Jihoon after they pull apart.

 

"You can't do that if you are not sure Jihoon." He finally says and puts the bottle onto the bedside table.

 

"But I want to." Jihoon blurts out and almost slaps his hand over his mouth at how clingy it comes out.

 

Woojin keeps staring at him before muttering a _fuck you Park Jihoon_ and suddenly, Jihoon is lying flat on the bed with a Woojin on top of him, holding him down and kissing him like this is the only thing he knows how to do. Jihoon lets Woojin kiss him down, chasing down Woojin's lips again and again and again. At some point, Jihoon glances at the 'condom drawer' and immediately feels the heat crawling up his spine, but Woojin doesn't suggest anything or does anything more intimate than kissing (Jihoon does not think holding hands counts), and Jihoon is just fine with this. He has a lot more left of Woojin to kiss anyway.

 

* * *

 

The morning come with Woojin snoring softly into his ears and Jihoon's phone vibrating relentlessly next to his pillow. Jihoon groans, untangles himself from Woojin's limbs and grabs at his shrilling phone.

 

When he sees the caller ID, Jihoon has to blink a little and rub at his eyes to make sure that it is, in fact, Daniel that is calling him.

 

"Hey," Jihoon says hoarsely into the phone. "What's up?"

 

"Hey, are you still at Woojin's?"

 

"Yeah," Jihoon says with a yawn.

 

"Right. Listen, Sungwoon is kind of freaking out."

 

"What happened?"

 

"Someone played too hard last night. Erm, one of the vases on the display counter was broken this morning."

 

Jihoon suddenly sits up and Woojin groans next to him. "Don't tell me you guys broke my mom's vases."

 

"Well, maybe. Sungwoon has been freaking out quite badly so it must have been one of those."

 

"Fuck," Jihoon groans and pulls the blankets off of him. "Just, I'll be there in 20."

 

"Yeah," Daniel says. "Yeah, ok. See you."

 

Jihoon hangs up with a groan escaping his mouth.

 

"What's up?" Woojin is sitting up in the bed when Jihoon turns around, hair sticking in different directions and eyes barely open.

 

"Someone broke one of mom's vases last night." Jihoon sighs and answers.

 

"Shit." Woojin says eloquently.

 

"I am gonna go access the damage." Jihoon says and moves to get up.

 

"I'll drive you."

 

"Sleep more," Jihoon turns to tell him. "Just come over or whatever when you are up."

 

"It's cool. I am up anyway." Woojin says and gets out of bed, heading towards the washroom. Then he suddenly turns around and pads barefoot towards Jihoon to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Morning."

 

His eyes are not even open and his one hand is scratching at his belly under his shirt like a neighborhood idiot, and he is so fucking cute Jihoon is going to die.

 

* * *

 

"I hope it is not the red vase." Woojin says as Katana cuts through the Seoul morning traffic.

 

"God, I hope not." Jihoon replies. "I might have to actually kill Sungwoon."

 

Jihoon's mom was a florist and she also had a knack for collecting vases which are not only expensive in money  but also in space. A lot of those vases were sent to Jihoon's grandmother house in Masan because her house has a lot more space but dad saved a few of her favorites ones at their house in Seoul. And now, one of them is broken and Jihoon just hopes it is not the red vase. She got that one when she was pregnant with Jihoon, so it is kind of like his birth-mate and mom had loved that one the most out of all her collections.

 

Daniel is coming out of the door, pulling a big trash bag behind him when Woojin turns into the driveway and parks Katana next to Sungwoon's car.

 

"Hey," Daniel nods at them. "I am just about to go get breakfast. Sorry to wake you up like this, man."

 

Jihoon sighs. "Let me go see how bad it is."

 

"Just," Daniel calls after him. "Go a little bit easy on him, alright? He's been feeling really bad since we saw that."

 

"Do you want to talk to Sungwoon alone?" Woojin asks. "Promise us first you won't kill him though."

 

"I am not a barbarian." Jihoon rolls his eyes.

 

"Fine then." Woojin shrugs. "Daniel hyung, you want me to give you a ride? What are you getting for breakfast?"

 

"I want waffles." Jihoon cuts in.

 

"Waffles it is then." Daniel says.

 

* * *

 

 

Well, at least it is not the red vase. It was the white and blue one that mom got from China for her birthday so Jihoon feels a little sad looking at the broken pieces all across the carpet.

 

"Jihoon, shit," Jihoon turns around to see Sungwoon coming out the washroom. "Dude, I am really, really sorry. I'll apologize to dad as well, and pay for it back."

 

"Do you know what happened?" Jihoon cuts him off and asks.

 

"I'm not really sure. There was just ... a lot of alcohol last night and some makeshift table tennis and, yeah." Sungwoon trails off, biting at his lips.

 

"It is fine," Jihoon sighs. "We have like 30 more vases in Masan and this one is not even that expensive anyway."

 

"But still, it is your mom's." Sungwoon says in a low voice. "It must have meant a lot to you."

 

"Well, I am not gonna remember my mom any less just because one of her vases is gone." Jihoon mumbles and kicks at one of the broken pieces near his feet. "I am not helping you clean up though."

 

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Sungwoon says hurriedly. "It's only like 6 AM in Phuket, right? Do you think it's too early to call your dad?"

 

"I think so," Jihoon shrugs and throws himself onto the couch. "Don't worry. He likes you a lot. He'd probably bite my head off if I was the one who did it, but you should be fine."

 

"I am the step-son here," Sungwoon says flippantly, reaching for the broom at the corner of the room.

 

"Dad never made you feel like one." Jihoon says, and it must have come out harsher than he intended to because Sungwoon looks back at him in worry and comes to sit down across him.

 

"Of course, he does not." Sungwoon says placatingly. "I know that. Why do you think I am feeling this guilty. It's like I betrayed his trust or disappointed him."

 

"Well, he might be angry for a bit but it won't last long." Jihoon says. "He's no bite, really."

 

Sungwoon smiles ruefully. "I am really sorry, Jihoon."

 

"Apologies accepted. Now please clean these up before Woojin and his accident-prone self comes in and cuts himself all over."

 

"Woojin is here?" Sungwoon asks and looks out of the front door.

 

"He went with Daniel to get breakfast." Jihoon says and Sungwoon just nods an okay before getting the broom and the vacuum cleaner to clean up the broken pieces.

 

"I ..." Jihoon starts, not really sure why he is even considering telling things to Sungwoon. Probably because the only person he had ever told things to is Woojin, but now he wants to talk  _about_ Woojin. He can call Daehwi but it is too early in the morning to be getting rubbed into his face that Daehwi was right. "I ... think I am seeing Woojin."

 

Sungwoon unplugs the vacuum cleaner and turns to look at him. "You think?"

 

"It's complicated." Jihoon shrugs.

 

"How so?"

 

"Just ..." Jihoon says unsurely. "I don't know. We kissed last night, like a lot, and he told me he likes me and I think I like him too."

 

"Where is the complicated part then?" Sungwoon raises an eyebrow.

 

"What if it does not last? Like, what if I don't like him suddenly one day? He's my best friend. I can't just ditch him."

 

Sungwoon blinks in confusion at Jihoon's word vomit. "You seem pretty sure about that."

 

"I don't know." Jihoon pouts and leans back against the couch. "I am scared of the future."

 

"Well, if it happens then, it happens. What can you do?" Sungwoon says and Jihoon stares at him.

 

"That's helpful, thank you." Jihoon finally says in a flat tone.

 

"You can't plan everything Jihoon." Sungwoon laughs. "Especially relationships. Do you know that I actually didn't want to date?"

 

"Really?" Jihoon scoffs. "You are kind of all over Daniel for someone who doesn't want to date."

 

"Yeah, exactly. I thought relationships aren’t worth all the efforts that you have to put in and then Daniel happened and here we are. You can plan your life, I guess, but it's only to a certain extent. Sometimes, you just got to live with what you have in the present."

 

"You sound like an outdated motivational book that no one wants to buy." Jihoon remarks and lies down on the couch. "I am gonna take a nap. Wake me up when breakfast is here."

 

"Sure," Sungwoon says and Jihoon closes his eyes. "If you like Woojin," Sungwoon keeps saying in the background though. "Just let yourself like him. It is a blessing to have someone likes you as much as you like them."

 

* * *

 

Jihoon does not need to be waken up by anyone when breakfast comes because Woojin is just so goddamn noisy.

 

"Hey, idiot!" The noisy idiot calls at Jihoon from the doorway and Jihoon opens one eye to glare at him.

 

"Hello to you too." Jihoon mumbles. "Jerk."

 

"You didn't check the mail yesterday morning, huh?" Woojin says, holding up a thick envelope and Jihoon gets up so fast that he almost trips himself over the coffee table.

 

No, he didn't check the mail yesterday morning because he overslept and Woojin had to drag him out of bed by his ears when he came over.

 

"It is from Konkuk." Jihoon gapes at the University Logo and the sender address on the envelope and says. "Fuck, Woojin. What do I do?"

 

"Do you want me to open it for you?" Woojin turns to ask as Jihoon clings to him, desperately wondering if a human heart can die from excessive beating.

 

"Yeah, you do it." Jihoon swallows roughly and says. "Maybe it is a reject letter."

 

"Have you ever seen a reject letter this thick?" Woojin says and Jihoon pinches his arm.

 

"I have never even seen any kind of letter from any university. How'd I know?!" Jihoon wails.

 

"Jesus, stop yelling into my ears." Woojin grumbles and tears off the letter at one end.

 

"Dear Mr. Park Jihoon," Woojin spreads out the letter and reads out loud. "You are a complete dumbo."

 

Jihoon punches him in the arm, and Woojin grimaces, rubbing at the sore spot. "Sorry, sorry. Dear Mr. Park Jihoon, we are pleased to offer you full admission for the ..."

 

Woojin's voice trails off into the buzzing background because the only things Jihoon keeps hearing are the words 'full admission', echoing again and again against his eardrums. He got in. Fuck, he got into a fucking good university, a university that Woojin is going, a university that his dad would be proud of, that his mom would be proud of.

 

It feels like his heart wants to leap out of his throat, and Jihoon bursts into tears.

 

"Shit," he hears Woojin says and immediately there are arms around him and Jihoon just shoves his face into Woojin's chest and cries.

 

"I am gonna make so much fun of you later for this," Woojin whispers into his ears but holds him tighter.

 

"Fuck you," Jihoon manages to choke out.

 

"I am proud of you," Woojin lifts his face and says, his thumbs wiping at Jihoon's tears. "You know that, right?"

 

"I know." Jihoon nods. "I am proud of me too."

 

"Brat," Woojin laughs and leans down to kiss him and if Park Woojin can kiss Jihoon through his tears and snorts, maybe he truly is the one.

 

"Wait. When did that happen?" He hears Daniel says in the background.

 

"Niel, stop gaping and come help me set the breakfast."

 

"No, really." Daniel says again. "When did that happen?"

 

* * *

 

8:30 in Seoul is definitely too early to be calling Phuket but Jihoon calls dad anyway, keeping the line ringing until dad finally picks up and grunts into the phone with annoyance. His annoyance immediately disappears though, when Jihoon yells into the phone about how he had gotten into his first choice university.

 

"I mean, it is still conditional so I still need to get decent grades on the entrance exam, but you know." Jihoon says into the receiver. "They want me."

 

"You did well, Jihoon." Dad says and Jihoon smiles.  He wonders if he should rat out to dad about Sungwoon and the broken vase but decided that he will let Sungwoon deal with it himself like an adult, because Jihoon, too, is an adult now. He is a dignified prospective university student after all.

 

"Are you proud of me?"

 

"Kid," dad says and Jihoon can imagine that big bright smile on his face at the other end of the line. "I've been proud of you ever since you opened your mouth for the first time and cried down the hospital."

 

Jihoon bursts into tears again and Woojin immediately comes running out of the kitchen, a waffle dangled in between his teeth.

 

"Bye dad." Jihoon yells into the receiver because dad is laughing, probably because he heard Jihoon crying on this end and he is a horrible person who enjoys Jihoon's embarrassment.

 

"You are a stupid crybaby." Woojin shakes his head and chews noisily on his waffle. "Come eat breakfast. I got you extra maple syrup."

 

Jihoon really, really likes him a lot.

 

And he will tell Woojin just that, when he finally stops making fun of Jihoon for having emotions.


	12. Bonus: (P.S) I Love You

"I really did not know they were together." Daniel is saying and Sungwoon rolls his eyes at his oblivious boyfriend.

 

"Man, I wouldn't have kissed Jihoon last night if I knew."

 

"You shouldn't have kissed Jihoon for a different reason," Sungwoon says and starts the car again as the traffic light goes green.

 

"What reason? You said you were fine with it."

 

Sungwoon turns to him and sighs. "Jihoon has a crush on you, idiot. Well, had a crush, I guess. Now that he's with Woojin."

 

Daniel stares at him in silence. "Bullshit."

 

"Oh you sweet summer child," Sungwoon scratches at Daniel's chin and coos. "You really are not that bright, are you?"

 

"Hey!" Daniel protests in offense. "Do I have to remind you that I am a letter grade above you in half our courses? Plus, are those the words you should be saying to your boyfriend who spent three hours in the morning helping you clean your mess?"

 

"It is your mess too," Sungwoon retorts back but he is smiling from ear to ear so it might not have been very impactful. "Thank you. I love you. Satisfied?"

 

Daniel scoffs but reaches out to hold Sungwoon's hand over the gear stick anyway before looking out of the car window. "The weather's nice today, not that cold. I was thinking of going back to bed earlier but seems like too much of a good day to waste. You wanna do something? Maybe go to Han River and chill?"

 

"Yeah, why not?" Sungwoon says and cranes his neck to look up at the blue sky. It really is a good day today, but then again, every day is a good day for him when Daniel is around.


End file.
